Duke v. UNC.

We win the class war (on who is classier).

Interesting, easy-to-read piece on watching Saturday's game from within enemy territory from Grantland.

And today's image, a bittersweet image of all that I love: grammatical snobbery in the face of UNC with just a touch of class and manners.

Men in caps: A post-Super Bowl observation.

Super fitting image, no? (I'm so proud of myself!)

So, post the Giants' Super Bowl win, I've seen a number of men and boys my age-ish looking (and older) wearing their normal work gear of full business suit and dress shoes with a Giants baseball cap. 

There's something I can't quite put my finger on about it that is super appealing to me.  Maybe the combination of a serious business side plus the boyish affinity for a sports team?  Perhaps the reminder of the athletes all dressed up on draft day and wearing their new team's hat with the eagerness of a girl who got asked to dance at prom?  Not sure what it is exactly but it sure is cute. 

And makes me think I need a GTHC cap. =D  And yes, almost every "sports" post on here does always come back to that.

A win. And my 2nd meme.

Duke beats UNC at the buzzer!!!



And this momentous occasion deserves my second stab EVAR at creating a meme:

To be honest, it wasn't our best gameplay ever, and based on Zellar's last 5 minutes or so of the game, my dad is convinced Duke paid him off (MOLE!!!).  Buuuuuuuuuut a win is a win!!!

GOOOOOO, Austin Rivers!!! Rest of the team, STEP IT UP!!!

Gerry Broome/AP Images

People who probably don't deserve to live.

I had originally titled this post "People who need to die" but that seemed unduly harsh and perhaps a bit extreme. So I changed it to reflect a slightly gentler estimation of the dregs/scourge(s?) of society.

Without further ado:

1. Linecutters.
2. People who clog up the escalator passing aisle.
3. People who don't flush the toilet in public restrooms.
4. Linecutters.
5. People who don't wipe down gym machines.
6. People who smoke cigarettes upwind from me.
7. Linecutters. (Seriously, this can NOT be on the list too many times.)
8. People who act like super-douches to service industry workers.
9. People who get on the subway car before everyone gets off.
10. Linecutters.

Oh, right. And rapists, murderers, child abusers, women-hitters (people who hit women, not women who hit others), aaaaaaaaannnnnnnd last but not least, Carolina fans.

GTHCGTH!!!

 

9 PM. ESPN GAMEDAY.

What does this say about me?

Last night I received the two following videos from friends via email:

From college guy friend: "this reminds me of your fighting skills"



From college girl friend: "THIS is how you meet your new husband...."

Siblings (rivalry?). Aww.

Sometimes, I get really really REALLY sad that my sister and I will never be able to share a moment like this (starts with highlight #3 at 0:30s):


PLUMLEE BROTHERS!!!

Mason, a junior, #5 passes his rebound to his older brother Miles, a senior, #21 for an amazing sibling assist.  How AWESOME it must be to be able to share that kind of TEAMWORK and a SENSE OF ACHIEVEMENT with your sibling!!! They don't show it in the clip but right after that dunk Mason runs over and does the intense manly "YEA!!!" buttslap to Miles.  I nearly died of jealousy right then.  I wish my sister and I were that good at and intense about something.

Not to say we don't get along - quite the contrary.  I couldn't live without her.  She claims I can't even get the salt from the other side of the table without her (quite possibly true). 

But our sort of teamwork is more along the lines of, I'll be trying to get something from the back of a fridge that looks like the one below (because my mom still buys food like my sister and I are in high school and eating 4000 calories a day) and when things start toppling and falling out on me my sister will come and help me out.

Source

That's great and quite a feat, but not quite ferocious manly athletic "YEA!!! YOU GOT IT!!!" buttslapping material.  Le sigh.

903.

Source

It was a good (to me, an exciting and generally fun-to-watch) game and today Coach K won his 903rd game as a Division I basketball coach, passing Bob Knight for the most wins.

(SO WISH I WERE THERE!!! INSTEAD OF AT HOME WRITING A MEMO FOR WORK... pfft.)

Not that he needs to hear it from me, but, well done, Coach.

And always with class and grit.

"Coaches, we get very lucky when we're at good places."
~ on his decision to display the game ball at Duke's Hall of Fame.

And maybe this kid can help him reach 1000.

CNN with one of the first articles.
And ESPN saying he probably will get to 1000.

lucky in love.

Haha.  The title of this post may confuse you.  Especially juxtaposed against the tone and content of my previous post.  I just came from watching "Date Night" with Steve Carell and Tina Fey.  I love them.  They are both so funny and their relationship throughout this movie was so cute and sincere (at least, to me).  I had no expectations going into this movie (decided to watch ANY movie after dinner on a whim) so I was pleasantly delighted to find that I enjoyed it.

On my walk home, I saw this couple full-on making out on the side of the sidewalk.  I'm talking girl pressing guy against the side of building on her tip toes making out.  At first I was like "Get a room" followed by the eye roll.  They started walking before I reached them and I was like, GOOD.  Then I spotted them again, at the corner of the next block.  They hadn't even gone ONE FULL BLOCK and she had pressed him up against the side of another building.  They just couldn't get enough of each other.  I was like "Oh, brother" all Liz Lemon style but then, I smiled.

I smiled because I had been there once upon a time.  I had experienced that all-consuming passion.  The "got-to-have-you-now"-ness and "don't-care-who-sees-or-judges"-ness of new (and not so new) beaus.  And I got to thinking.  Despite all the ups and downs and seeming disasters on the journey that is my "love life," I have experienced a crazy array of situations, events, and feelings.  So maybe I haven't met "The One."  I'm not even sure how much I (still?) believe in "The One."  But short of finding my "happy ending" (non-euphemistic) I have truly been lucky to have experienced "love" (or sometimes perhaps lust) in so many different ways.

I am lucky to be able to recognize certain men's fragrances/soaps and smile thinking of the guy who wore it. I am lucky to have certain stores I pause outside of and think of who I went in there with.  I am lucky to pause outside certain restaurants and smile thinking of the guy who took me there.  I am lucky to have certain routes where I can smile remembering who used to walk there with me.  There are certain subway stops where I smile thinking of who used to drop me off there.  There are certain street corners where I smile thinking of who I used to meet there.  (Hmm, that last one sounds dangerously dirty - BUT IT'S NOT!!!).

So here is an edited list of some of some of the other experiences I count myself lucky to have had:

Being proclaimed as someone's soulmate.  Twice.  Being proposed to as a backup wife.  Thrice.  Trip for two to the Côte d'Azur.  Nighttime walks on the beach.  Walks in Central Park.  Walks in Battery Park.  Soul-searching conversations in Battery Park.  Getting sent home from the Duke Golf Course running trail parking lot by DUPD.  Being the one he wanted to go to the hospital with.  Roses for returning from DC.  An orchid for being pretty.  Male locker rooms at Duke.  Empty football field at Duke.  Underneath the bleachers of the tennis stadium at Duke.  Midnight grilled cheese sandwiches.  And homemade French toast for dinner.  Golf lessons.  A best friend who was secretly in love with me but never made a move other than being there for me when I needed him and always taking care of me.  At least twice.  A (perhaps-not-so) secret affair.  Grocery shopping.  Broadway shows.  Meeting coworkers.  Meeting friends.  Meeting the parents.  Meeting the other half of the bromance.  Meeting the dog.  Showers.  Being bathed like a child.  Kisses on the forehead.  Train couchette - with 4 others asleep (hopefully).  Train rides through the French countryside.  Heat rash.  Or possibly stress hives (non-STD related!).  Play wrestling - no sex involved.  Dancing until we literally fell over from exhaustion.  Someone who knows every little thing about me - even more than my Mom knows about me.  "I'm sorry" lunch.  "I'm sorry" brunch.  "I'm sorry" dinner.  "I'm sorry" ice cream.  "I'm sorry" cab rides.  "I'm sorry" highlighters.  Candles and rose petals.  Dinner at the Boathouse in Central Park.  A personalized tour through the Met.  Staying up to make me watch The Notebook.  Cookout shakes delivered to me in the library.  A whole fake duel on the steps inside Perkins Library.  Valentine's dinner with his basketball buddies.  Piggyback rides around Kville.  Semiformals.  Dancing.  Not dancing.  Walks through the Duke gardens.  Lunch at the Nasher Museum.  Cocktails at the WaDuke bar.  Pho to cure hangovers.  Morning-after brunches.  Piggyback rides around the American Tobacco Campus in Durham.  Surprise birthday dinner with my family.  21st birthday bathroom antics.  Watergun fights - with chemlab goggles.  Dorm study rooms.  Giving each other colds.  Wearing his clothes.  Finding his clothes in my laundry.  Giving me his favorite childhood stuffed animal.  Teaching me to play video games.  Getting frustrated when I beat him.  Never playing said video game with me again.  Having someone to cook hangover 삼계탕 for.  Impromptu lens cases out of water bottle caps.  Having someone to bring home leftovers for.  Having someone to order a takeout meal for during girls' dinner.  Smuggling a live animal into Bostock Library.  Having the exact same read on another person.  Rainy day movies.  Being carried to bed.  Taking care of drunk strangers together.  Sleeping on the floor.  Golfing with my parents.  Rides home.  Walking me home.  Borrowing his coat.  Talking until the sunrise.  Drinking on the raised plaza outside JG.  Playing basketball.  Ignoring foul calls.  Keggerskating.  Bus terminal goodbyes.  Bus terminal welcome backs.  Rituals.  Nicknames.  Inside jokes.  Talking until the cell battery dies.  Drunk texts.  Care packages.  Garters.  White Hanes tank tops.  Christmas presents.  I'll-miss-you-when-you-go-on-vacation-so-here's-my-favorite-sweatshirt sweatshirts.  Souvenirs.  Postcards from faraway places.  Weathering the rain and a trip to Brooklyn to feed a friend's cat.  A date that I planned and paid for.  Watching movies in the theaters.  Watching movies at home.  Watching new TV shows.  Skipping class to take naps.  Hopping around on one foot in Kroger's grocery store.  Duke basketball.  Making up.  Walking.  Ordering Chinese food delivered to my apartment and his name is automatically on the order.  Having a "song."  New music.  Concerts.  Mobs.  Getting his car towed b/c we were behind a building for too long.  Sleeping while he reads Naruto.   Shopping together.  Bloomingdales.  The Apple store.  Strand.  New interests.  Sending him off to work in the morning and being left in the quiet calm of his apartment.  

What do I want

my girlfriends, a half dozen bottles of wine, and a few of the guys sprinkled in later

what does that mean? let me translate

One of my favorite memories at duke goes like this.

I think a few of us girls had had a ROUGH week and feeling pretty beat up and tired had gone out to splurge a bit on dinner. I had gone on a Target run earlier in the day and whilst dropping off friends on Central Campus, I decided to just grab the bottle of Riesling I had in the trunk and head up to my friend's apartment.

We all decided this was the smartest thing I'd done all week and proceeded to open up the bottle of aptly named, "Relax."



This somehow led to another bottle or two of the house wine to be opened and consumed. And I think at 2 1/2 bottles down we realized there would be no more if we finished the remaining half! WELL, first we had to check the time bc NC is kindof a dry state and they stop selling the hard stuff and the non-beer stuff at like 9 or 11 or something like that. Once we found out we had like 15 minutes to make a wine raid, we had to figure out who was soberest ... no longer remember but think it was unlikely to have been me, to drive to the nearest BP for some more wine (classy, you bet!).

So we herd into my car (ok, POSITIVE i wasn't the driver) and head over to BP to get at least another bottle or two before heading back to the apartment. By this point we were ridiculously silly. Seriously, I can't remember anything other than thinking EVERYTHING was SO FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! But anyway, at some point our guy friends started texting and calling us to see what we were up to. We convinced them to join us and they turn up TOTALLY SOBER (which was a surprise!) and I think they may have sat around laughing at us for a bit before they realized how sober they were and went somewhere to remedy that. Maybe. I actually have no idea. I remember NOT blacking out, but that's about it.

Haha. I just remember how warm it was in the apartment, how nice it was to hear all our laughter, how we couldn't stop laughing, how we kept counting the empty bottles and laughing even more, how I was blamed for drinking the least (probably only the one bottle on my own), and how no one really cared.

It wasn't crazy, or wild, or scandalous, or even that interesting - seeing how I can't remember a single specifically funny thing about the night. But it's just a wonderful secure happy memory. One that'll keep me warm for the ages.

=) nostalgic, I suppose. But with the phone calls I've been having lately, can you blame me?

I don't even care to apologize for the non-literariness or anything of this post. This one is for me.

Graduation plus 1

It's been one year plus one day since I graduated from college and that made me think, "HOOM, what have I learned this year?"

This is my first year NOT being in school of some sort since I was 3 years old. And yet, to say that I've not been in a "learning environment" would clearly be a lie. But exactly what KIND of learning environment has it been? And what exactly (or not) have I learned?

1. I think this year has been an exercise in patience. Learning to be patient with others and with myself. I had to be patient in understanding, in trying to understand, in trying to communicate, in waiting for the wisdom to make some sense of all I've been experiencing, and patient in counting down 'til the end of this year.

2. I've learned that money doesn't exactly grow on trees. I even went completely totally bankrupt sometime in early January. I had less than $4 to my name. And I learned something. I learned that maybe squirrels are smart in hiding away their nuts for leaner times. And so I've learned a little about the value of money. Not only because I felt what it was like to have my tail between my legs poor, but also because I've finally had to "work" for it. I've really had to punch in (well, sign my name) my timecard every morning, answer to a "boss," and bend over backwards and smile even when I didn't want to because that was what my job required.

3. I've learned a lot about the value of friendship and the love and support of family. I've learned that having good friends REALLY IS the most valuable thing one can have. Even when all else fails, good friends can pull you through ANYthing. I've learned how wonderful it is to have a loving and supportive family. And how that family and those relationships can give you strength that distance can't affect.

4. I've learned what it's like to HAVE family. Having grown up in America, away from my large (and largely crazy) extended family, I was always jealous of my friends who got together with their cousins, aunts, uncles, and other relatives for big holidays and special occasions. I finally know what it's like to be with people who look somewhat like you, who share a history with you (maybe not one that either of US remembers, but the shared history of our grandparents and our parents' growing up), and people who are tied to you whether you like it or not. I've learned that certain quirks I have aren't mine alone, but are shared by these people who are at the same time both foreign and so familiar.

5. I've learned (a bit) about what it's like to stand on your own two feet and not always on the shoulders of those venerable giants who came before us (i.e. my parents). And although it will ALWAYS be the lessons they've taught me and the love they've shown me that support me from within, it's good to start seeing what life is like, as the Swahili say, "on my own." To have to solve problems without them by my side (literally), to fend for myself, to be "independent."

6. I've learned how much I love and need certain things and people and what things I can do without. This applies to all possible items: be they animal, vegetable, or mineral.

7. I've learned REALLY how much exactly I love learning and school. I can't WAIT to go back. I can't wait to be a student again. (regardless of the NYTimes article that more learned members of a species die earlier given the only variable is their learning experience).

8. And I know that learning is never over. (Another NYTimes article reporting that old dogs CAN learn new tricks). I will continue to grow and learn and mature (hopefully). This year has been a crazy one. A year ago, Tuesday we drove up to Boston to pick up my little sister and bring her home. Last year, the 3 of us drove up and 4 of us returned. This year my mom drives up alone and returns alone, going up just to help my sister move into her new abode for the summer semester. So much has changed, and yet - really nothing that MATTERS has changed.

I'll need to ponder upon this subject quite a bit more before it becomes quite lucid to me. Also, my eyes are drooping closed from the tiredness this great weekend had upon me. I guess it all comes full circle. I spent this year's (2008's) graduation weekend with the good friends I hadn't yet made and the family I didn't quite know a year ago. The people that, if I had such an event this year, I would've wanted to spend this special weekend with.

march madness ends

(p.s. 12 weeks of teaching left)

and i WIN!!! i won our fulbright eta pool! my bracket won!!! ok, so this is really exciting because most ppl totally scoff at what i perceive to be my "sports skills". meaning, anything related to an athletic activity that i claim knowledge of, or really anything somewhat sports-related that i take on, people kindof expect to fail. i'm one of those people who looks deceivingly athletic. only to leave ppl bewildered and totally disappointed in my complete and utter failure at anything sportsy. so it TOOOOTALLY took me by surprise that i won my ncaa men's bball pool!!! but yayy. ok so enough of that. (haha especially after junior year when i totally organized our girls' pool and then lost most miserably...)

also, my hostfam did a 180 this weekend. and by hostfamily i really mean imo. because let's face it, like any korean family i'm mostly her responsibility. so in the past few weeks, she had stopped making me breakfast AND forgetting to keep a stock of bread for my PB&J sandwiches. she hadn't been talking to me. and just other little things that made me start feeling uncomfortable in the house. so of course this weekend i relay these events/complaints to my fellow ETAs.

and THEN, out of nowhere she calls on saturday to ask me when i'm coming in on sunday so that hostdad can come pick me up at the airport. so i was thrilled and happy. but then wary. so i got suspicious that the sudden interest in my life was so that they could kindof bargain me into tutoring the hostbro in english. (i'd overheard conversations of him wanting to quit his english hakwon and his parents considering other options-and of course suggesting that i could tutor him instead). so i called to say no thanks to the ride, maia and i would find another way in together.

i come home. sick sick sick. and imo ushers me into my room. heats up a heating pad for my bed, has the daughter make me tea, and tells me to nap until dinnertime. she asked if i wanted 죽 and i said, no thanks i'll just eat what they're having. and then she made me another citron tea for after dinner. and got me an appt with her friend (her kids' pediatrician) for today and called ahead to tell her my symptoms in case i was unable to explain sufficiently in korean.

AND tonight she made (well, she told the housekeeper to make) special birthday rice and seaweed soup and my favorite "bulgogi" with no veggies for my early birthday dinner. in all, she's been going out of her way all of a sudden to be supernice. and i would love to give her the benefit of the doubt and just think that she's returning to normal. because to be honest, the last few weeks WERE really stressful for her, too. her daughter went away to boarding school. and then apparently there's this hullabaloo where she works of trying to pressure her into taking on a new responsibility (she already works fulltime PLUS has an extra nighttime lecture). so her and hostdad have been discussing that for a bit. so i thought maybe she was neglecting me because of all that extra stress. if so, then good, i'm glad she's worked through it and now we can resume as normal. because it was getting uncomfortable for a while there. and i don't want that. especially when we've made it this far amiably.

so yea, there was def some march madness going on and it wasn't just sports-related. i'm sick right now, but i'm hoping it's just the tail end/conclusion of the storm that was brewing for all of march. i've been on the brink of this killer cold for about 3 weeks, just barely staving it off, and i guess the travel and excitement of this past weekend just brought it all to a head. well, tomorrow i have a full day (9 to 4 w/lunch break) of classes and then i'll be off to asan for my birthday bash! i hope i feel well enough to really enjoy the company of my girlfriends here in korea. because it's so good to be together and i am so grateful that they all made time in their busy schedules to do this.

i probably won't have time to update tomorrow. but i will do an update later this week (on my bday festivities for sure). also, i'm trying to stop griping on here and go back to my wonderfully witty and intellectual commentary. on life. and stuff in life.

yippeeeeee

so, yesterday was a fundiferous day.

ok that was superlame. i apologize. but yesterday somehow i was ELATED and NOTHING could go wrong. except both my classes but still. i was somehow super happy. tired, but happy.

i dunno. yesterday made me happy.

my first two classes were cancelled. but i didn't find out about the 2nd cancelled one until after i was already at school. but i got a LOT of work done in that period for english camp. nexxxxt, i really wanted these schedule planner books the teachers all get from their union or something apparently and somehow my head english teacher was able to procure one for me and so yayy!!! i told her she was my santa+fair godmother and that made her really happy.

i just had a pretty good day. i miss my old students so much. at least i get to see them around. and i love having my 1st graders again. i got some white day candy from some girl students. we (all the elective teachers) went to the 문구 for supplies for out classrooms together in the afternoon when the weather was perrrrrrfect so that was fun. i bought these cool self-stick memo boards for my desk area in my room (not classroom) and they're so fun. i LOVE self-stick and post-its and whatnot.

i dunno. yesterday just had me in high spirits. i read a little (i've been neglecting that lately). i've just been so tired that i don't have the energy to weird. which is totally weird. so i've been watching a lot of TV on my computer. isn't that odd? i never used to watch TV. altho i do have a somewhat obsessive personality so when i get hooked on something i have to do it RIGHT all at once. sometimes i wish i weren't so OCD.

i was so productive despite my tiredness (which is i guess one reason i was in such a good mood). i did SOME winter cleaning. i moved out my SUPER winter clothes from my closet and sorted them into two categories: winter clothes to take home AND winter/spring clothes to donate/leave in korea.

i started talking about sending my stuff home options with imo. it's all happening so quickly. =) also today's weather looks amaaaaaazing from inside. i really want to go out. but don't really have a reason to and hwangsa makes it difficult to justify going outside and poisoning myself for no reason. also, i TOTALLY miss the quads and all the lawns and grass at duke that was pretty much free to anyone to claim as their own. all this concrete and bricks makes it so much harder to enjoy the spring.

i guess it always boils down to the same thing: i miss duke. i miss being a student. i miss america. hehe.

lol. i was just thinking. how when the day was particularly beautiful, it was ripe for a nice long drive (windows down sunroof open) to the MALL where we would enjoy the natural daylight filtering through the glass ceilings. haha.

US tour part 1

So, despite cutting Duke out of my 2 weeks in America, I still get the feeling I did a college tour. In my 2 weeks, I ran through 9 states, 4 big city/metro areas, and visited 4 college campuses/towns.

States: NJ, NY, Massachusetts, RI, CT, DC, MD, VA, Delaware
Cities/Metropolitan areas: NJ, NYC, Boston, DC
Colleges: Boston College, Harvard, Columbia, Georgetown

Ok, first off, I land on Vday night in NY and spend it smothered in my parents' love. Yayy for being spoiled and loved!

We went up to Boston to visit my sister at school that weekend and pretty much I gorged all day. After meeting her 8 suitemates we had a delish kalbi lunch, walked around Harvard Square, had some delish cake, then walked over and had dinner at Upstairs on the Square (i think that's what it was called). I should've taken more pictures. But I was distracted by trying to make up for 7 months of not being with my family.

Ok, so coincidentally, the Monday following my arrival was a special Admitted Students' Day at Columbia Law. More deets HERE . Soooooo, I decided to go and RSVP uberlate but they were great and said I could come. I had some difficulties getting into the city (forgot about President's Day and holiday bus schedule) but managed to find my way there on the subway and everything! I was like 5 minutes late but that was ok bc I got a personal/individualized tour from a 3L and that was good bc I'd been on the tour last year when I first got in and visited. He answered a lot of my more specific questions and since I had deferred and was definitely coming, he answered all my questions of the cons of Columbia, too.

We then had a grrrrrreat brunch with more current students and administrators followed by a special lecture on Puerto Rico and then we had some free time. Okay, here it comes. I went to sit in on a class (one of the 1L spring electives) and I was SOOOOOOO PSYCHED!!! I had no/little idea what they were talking about but I was sooooo excited by being back in a classroom at a top-notch university!

In case you ever missed it, I HATE WORKING. ABSOLUTELY despise it. Studying and academia have been and are my true loves. I can NOT wait to rejoin SCHOOL!!! (as a student not a teacher!) It's TOTALLY nerdy but all day at Columbia I was filled with an air of happiness and anticipation and excitement for being a STUDENT again! GAHHHHH I was so excited. I also mostly went to look at various housing options and have mostly decided that I'll probably live in an apartment share for less than $1000/month. I am so glad CLS subsidizes AND guarantees our housing.

Of course, the weather was amaaaaaaazing. It was like 50-60 and balmy all day. But of course as soon as I verbalize that, it starts POURING haha. Anyways, it was such a great day and i can NOT wait for 1L to start. (from the sound of things, this will probably change once i DO start).

I.E. last night i woke up at 4am (like i did today) and i online-browsed furniture for my apartment next year ... or should i just go with a furnished apt? i've seen it and it's just standard issue college furniture .. but it WOULD be nice to have some of my own stuff .. i want to live in a pretty room! i've also already started thinking of next summer's internship. since it's pretty much impossible to get a NYC firm internship as a 1L most students do some public interest work or go back to their homestates. I'm thinking maybe going international to intern my 1L summer. Hong Kong? or maybe Korea again? (this time in seoul duh) or after my DC visit i'm seriously considering interning in DC. i actually REALLY liked the city and metro area, and it's a bit cheaper than NYC. so maybe i could look into internships (a clerkship?) there to try on for size.

p.s. that one year of hell known as 1L is so gonna be worth it. pretty much after 1L, i'm set for the next like 20 years barring i don't like hold up a bank or kidnap babies or something stupid like that. (i've already explained this to the favs so i won't reiterate on grounds of sounding like a total snob).

Anyways, the next week I spent shopping and reading and spending time with my fam. and THEN on THURSDAY i headed to DC. but that's for the next entry. ^^

happy LNY~

skype problems: sorry for everyone who tried to call me in the past week. i figured out what was wrong. something happened to my paypal and my skype automatic credit stopped working so my callforwarding ran out of money and i had no idea. i fixed it now so it works.

quick update: draft in progress

back from jindo.
interesting vacay.
deathsick friday-saturday.
recuperation now.

super tuesday = interesting.

duke bball = LIFE.

miss my family.

been having weird dreams lately, probably due to deathsick.

better now. =] (christine is weak smile)

a flower in a greenhouse

or growing paints. or my cold seems worse than your terminal illness. or time for another attitude adjustment.

i know i've been rather negative lately. and for that i offer my sincerest apologies. i think it's just this lack of busy-ness in my life that's gotten me stuck in the doldrums. whenever i lack something to keep myself busy or work on, i start going to work on myself and we all know i'm quite the critical judge. i'll start by explaining my multiple titles.

a flower in a greenhouse: this is a korean phrase used to describe someone who has been sheltered and before we even get to discuss whether or not this sheltered flower can make it in the outdoor weather and wind, we have to address the fact that the greenhouse flower is SCARED of venturing out into the weather and wind. several people have used this with me, gently (at least they're kind). and it's not exactly a compliment but it's something that i know to be true. i'm not exactly thick-skinned and korea's bluntness and non-subtlety has been getting harder and harder for me to bear. death by a thousand cuts. i chose this year in large part to develop a thicker skin, or at least better remedies for my damaged thin skinnedness. so, clearly, at a junction when this is becoming almost unbearably difficult for me, i need to confront this challenge head-on. my parents apparently discussed at length just having me come home ... but we've all decided against my running into their arms at the first (or second or third or fiftieth) hint of difficulty. after all, if i can't handle this, how am i going to survive the perhaps not-so-gentle profession of law?

growing paints: this is an old joke within my family. at one point in my high school years my mom was giving me a wholly inspirational talk about not giving in to challenges and all the hurdles and obstacles that are an inevitable part of growing up. however, i couldn't help but get distracted by her use of the phrase "growing paints" as opposed to "growing pains" and since then, those sucky parts of life that you can't avoid if you wanna grow up have been referred to "growing paints".

my cold seems worse than your terminal illness: this is another korean phrase. it's meant to describe how one's own problems loom much larger than objectively more serious problems elsewhere. or how MY problems are always worse than YOUR problems. in my rational head, i know that i am so incredibly lucky right now and that my life is and has been privileged in so many ways and i really, in the big picture of the world, have nothing to complain about ever. to evoke one of my favorite iterations of this from Friends:
Ross: I don't know what I'm gonna do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare! 

Chandler: Oh, I know, this must be so hard. "Oh no, two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties AND MY DIAMOND SHOES ARE TOO TIGHT!"
so yes, i am aware that most of my complaints sound like that. and so i was telling my mom i was aware, i was complaining loads and even though i KNOW i have nothing to fret about, it's true that my problems are always so much worse than all the other pain in the world. and she taught me this phrase. how koreans say my cold is worse than your cancer. and this leads me straight to my next point.

korea's singular narrow-mindedness, conformity, homogeneity, shallowness, etc.: i know know KNOW i'm here as a cultural ambassador and that korea has lots of positive points but lately it's just these negative ones that seem to be affecting me and elbowing their way into my experiences here. apparently this has bothered me before also. my mom told me that the last time i was in korea in 1996, a week into our trip i commented that "Everyone looks the same here. They all have the same hair and wear the same clothes and have the same surgery-ed eyes and use the same words and everyone is the same. No one is beautiful because they are all the same." she said she was surprised at my acuity (does that mean astuteness?) and sadly not much has changed since then (IMHO-in my humble opinion). this just drives me crazy. especially coming from a campus as diverse as duke's. and this leads to my next point.

i miss duke like it's my job lately. the open-minded discussions. the classroom back and forths. the throwing around of ideas. the intellectual stimulation. even the occasional so-fiery-it's-awkward debates. and i don't mean to be totally nerdy, but SERIOUSLY people would discuss deep things and we could talk into the night about our disagreements and why we believed what we did and why ppl act a certain way and all our theories about people and life and the world. and i MISS that. i HUNGER/THIRST for academia. i don't care about sounding pretentious and i'm not trying to say ALL my time at duke was spent in existential crisis .. i had my fair share of normal "fun" and self-absorbedness but i miss having this open, probing, curious atmosphere available (and even FORCED on me in some classes). i MISS it. i'm reading this one book called "The Geography of Thought" and i can totally see myself reading excerpts of it for a bunch of different classes i took (the topic is right up my alley-differences bw western/european and asian thinking/perspectives) and as i read it i long for the opinions of my classmates and professors that provide new perspectives from my own that usually challenge and push what i think.

the stark contrast between duke's classrooms and korea's obsession with the visual is disheartening in so many ways. well, no one promised that college was anything like the real world. so my dad today was explaining to me, korea is still stuck on this (gesturing to his torso and meaning the shallow visuals) and i can't get sucked into that because he knows i'm operating "here" (gesturing to his head/brain and pointing forward) with ideas and what's really important in life. "you have a future, an amazing future and you can't get stuck worrying so much with what these koreans think about" and my parents have been so supportive and amazing. my mom: all korean girls worry about is looking good to boys and what boys think of them. which is true and one of the things that really annoys me about korea. how BACKWARDS they seem to me sometimes. and this leads to my next point:

time for another attitude adjustment: i know, i say this often, but it's because it bears repeating and changing who you are and how you think and feel is one of the hardest things in the world (some say nigh impossible). but it's one of those things i want and i'm not a quitter. i guess in a way dealing with this "korean homogeneity" is an intellectual challenge not too different or maybe so different as to matter from the ones i miss at duke. after all, few if ANY of my fellow students' opinions ever made me question or physically revulsed me as does korea. it's just another challenge that i have to wrap my head around. i guess that is the best/healthiest way to see it, that this difference bw my comfort zone and korea's image issues is just an ideological difference and it's worth it to me (intellectually, emotionally, psychologically?) to approach it as i would a disagreeing classmate's opinion. maybe it's telling that korea gets under my skin like this, in ways academia rarely affected me. after all, no pain no gain. after great struggle, comes great growth.

february is a month pregnant with possibilities.

as a sidenote: i've recently become more and more appreciative of my hostfam (so will have a *positive* update soon)

dear old duke

wednesday night i went to a duke korea alum end of the year dinner. it was interesting. it made me think. the dinner was at the ritz carlton and the food was amazing. but i'll talk about that later. other than me and soojin (both 07 trinity girls) the alum were all old men. they were mostly fuqua alum, LLMs from duke law, and a few MDs. there were also a few who had gone as visiting scholars (does this mean they were students? or lecturers?). there were almost NO women. the few women who were there were the wives of duke alum men, and half the wives were also duke affiliated. there were maybe 2 couples, one was both fuqua and the other was both LLM, where both the man and wife were dukies. i wonder if they met there, or if they were both accepted bc they were a package deal?

anyway, duke alum in korea are surprisingly a lot like those at home, it's an old boys' club. it makes me wonder also, are there less duke women grads in korea? or are they in a society that keeps women from attending bc they have to take care of the kids? but from the looks of the alum last night, these ppl are members of korea's elite society. they are all in the upper echelons of their respective corporations, or are doing really well in their own business/hospital, or are so well-off they're jus chilling doing philanthropy. so the point of that was, these WOMEN if they are graduating with duke mbas and llms, is that they definitely are in a class where hired help is a given. for more on why being a woman in korea SUCKS, refer to LJ's entry on korean womenlife.

i would NEVER EVER choose to be a woman living in korea. even though i am from america, ppl STILL try to fit me somewhat to the korean woman mold. i'm so happy that i am enough of an "outsider" that some ppl are nice and understand and don't ask me to do all the normal traditional woman roles of the house and whatnot. i enjoy my guest status in that respect. like at restaurants, i am never expected to pass out the chopsticks and spoons even though i am the youngest female bc they all know i was not brought up like that. which brings me to my next point: entitlement and prestige?

these ppl went to a diff duke than me. we definitely had differnet experiences. this i know, just from observing the international undergrads. our duke experiences may have overlapped in a few areas, but overall were vastly different. however, were our reasons for going the same? did we know that duke offered us very similar things? entitlement, belonging to the (academic and social?) elite, school name, better opportunity, bragging rights, etc. korea is crazy competitive and clearly studying in america was a leg up, but studying at a place like duke was a super duper double leg and arm up.

anyway, dinner was delish. i had scallops for the first time since coming to korea!!! winty!! i missed scallops soooo much!!! and DIP!!! i haven't had any kind of dip yet, and i miss it sooo much!!! you girls KNOW how much i love scallops and how much i love chips and dip, GOOD dip!!! oh well, i didnt even have time to TRY the dessert bc they moved on to entertainment and bonding games before i was ready. =( oh well.

on another note, a source at duke (ok, john) tells me that this year's team is the best in the whole country. i am SOOOO mad i'm not at duke to enjoy this firsthand, but SOOOO proud of our boys and hope to find a way to watch their games SOMEHOW from the motherland!

i bleed blue

i was looking through my planner, where i have fastidiously written down all the dates of the duke games ... and our preseason is off to a healthy start ... we're ranked lower than i expected ... but i hadn't really expected a particular rank so i'm not sure how that makes sense but it does ... to me ... haha anyway ... i started reading the goduke website then i started youtubing for video ... and as per last year ... the new bodies on teh court threw me off at first ... they move differently and are shaped differently and the games have a different rhythm from last year's team (and other previous teams). seeing that hardwood and the court and the stadium and hearing the chants ... gahhhh i could feel my heart YEARNing to be there ... to be a part of that history ... today as i was walking home from school ... somehow the only thing in my head was "drive home safely ... drive home safely" a lovely ending to any duke game ... =) i don't know how much of a fan i'll continue to be later in life ... but for now ... let's just say i miss the whole thing ... the atmosphere ... the camaraderie

ok the first one only made me tear up ... this one made me cry:


this one is good, too ... mostly bc it has a few of my favorite moments of duke all time ... the paulus/mcroberts straddle hug, redick at the dukev.texas game billions of points, gahh too many to name:


no more real live me at duke bball for a while .... i will miss: D-MARC. ZOOSH. duhon pounding the floor. monstrous landlord blocks. redick from a million miles away. seandockery (my fav forever) and his 40 foot vatech beating shot. paulus/mcroberts beautiful assists. mcroberts monstrous dunks. redick's one and only dunk ever. haha. all the silly stuff the crowd/band/mascot does during TV commercial breaks. standing in kville with hot choco/mcnuggets. getting freaking excited when my BF for life pocius gets subbed in. crying bc we win. crying bc we lose. getting lost in the crowd back to rick's/tommy's after the game. bouncing up and down for 2 hours going "uhhhhhhhhhh". jj finally learning to drive. dicky v's crush on jj. jj's smirk/smile. melchionni's "sh~ooop shoo~ooP". stalking seandockery in target. never getting the nerve to say hi to pocius. paulus saying "gbless you" to wint. making ashley tell mcroberts goodluck on unc gameday!!! i miss it all!!!! =) i'll be back.

joy of my life (good)

rosa and me in insadong waiting for joan unni: new earrings!!!


my mom and me on skype chat:
mommy:omg 가 뭐야? 네 일기를 읽을때마다 무슨뜻인지?
me:oh my god
mommy:진짜 오 마이 갓이다..

in english:
mommy: what is "omg"? every time i read your blog i wonder what it means?
me: oh my god
mommy: that really is "oh my god" (with an air of finality-hard to translate the meaning/tone apparent in the korean)

weekend: equals success - i was tired overall but did a lot of good stuff for *ME* .. got a little annoyed at some ppl i didnt even see and ppl who are miles away but it's ok - life is like that sometimes

so friday: i went to ochang w/the hostfam for hostsis high school interview at min's school so i called out minsuk who was a wonderful sport and showed imo all around the school and we got to meet a bunch of his students (so cute!) and i'm suuuuuch a fan of their uniforms!!! im gonna go steal my hostsis' blazer if she goes! we had lunch w/min and then came back home for family naptime. THEN we did our long-awaited girls' night out (me, hostsis, imo). we had dinner at riccone. went shopping for new clothes for hostsis (apparently her first time in OVER a year --- i can NOT even imagine what that would be like ...). then some light grocery shopping at homever. then we walked through a park i didnt know existed behind lotte plaza and got the ORIGINAL hodduk!!! overall it was a satisfying and fun day!

saturday: wake up and go to seoul. meet one of my 작은엄마s for quick cafe lunch then 4 back2back interviews for ED duke applicants. it was actually quite amazing. these kids were so accomplished and passionate and motivated and all that. i was totally wow-ed by their resumes. what really cheered me up tho was their bright-eyed optimism and how great they expected college to be. which is true - i LOVED my college and my college years (which is one reason i volunteered to do this) but at the same time it really put me through the wringer (is that the right expression?). as many wonderful opportunities that i had through which to grow, i had to jump through as many hoops and make as many hard decisions. i was so excited by their fresh-facedness ... hehe its rare that i get to think someone else is naive and innocent. after the 4 interviews i was pretty wiped and so happy to hear from an unni i knew from nj that she was getting back to her apt earlier than she had expected. so i met her and got to rest a lil at her apt while she went to pick up her dog ... her puppy reminded me soooo much of rocky i teared up and nearly cried ... we went out for dinner (OMG DELISSSSSSHHHHHHIOUS) then tea/coffee at SUCH a chic cafe, then jjimjjilbang for 2 diff kinds of massages and threading. it was quite the pampering myself experience. also it was so good to talk to an unni who had been here for a year (dealing w/diff language issues-she's a professional interpreter) and discuss all our issues and talking about our moms (we grew up together-so all know each other). we got done at 4am and turned in for the night pretty early in the morning (i love my cleverness)

sunday: wake up, get breakfast to go at the biggest freaking coffee bean in korea (3 stories PLUS valet parking!) (this might be one of the reasons i love apgu/kangnam). unni drove me to apgu subway stop so i can go meet rosa. yayyyy for meeting rosa. oh yea before that ... i was on the subway eating my bagel and i couldnt stop hiccuping!!! i was lucky enough to have a seat but the ajussi next to me kept readjusting and giving me strange looks every time i hiccupped!!! i thought maybe he thought i was a drunk ... hehe. sooooo i meet rosa in insadong and YAYYY she gave me 2 ginormous pepperos!!! haha mostly bc she wanted me to carry them around all day (oh how i missed our sadistic relationship!). we walk around/shop then joy of all joys meet joan unni for a quick free tea bit!! then rosa and i headed off to myeongdong to see about some more shopping. around 4:30ish i realize that i have not eaten lunch yet and i'm ridiculously tired!!! so i head back to express terminal to find me a bus home for some love from the hostfam. busride was uneventful except for the woman next to me whispering into her handbag ... i thought she was on the phone ... but as the bus driver turns off the light .... SHE WHIPS OUT A TEENSY WEENSY PUPPY!!!~ what if i was ALLERGIC??? that crazy useless korean woman (ugh i hate this about them - they are so inconsiderate) who had no consideration for rules/laws - can you take tiny little puppies on public transportation? anyway this one was NOT cute - it was one of those toy dogs that looks so useless and stupid and has no brain of its own cuz its so teeny. it was very well behaved - but i dont think it was that it was just too stupid to bark or move around or anything. ugh - i hate tiny little dogs ... gross. anyways traffic once we got INTO cheongju so we were liek 2 blocks away from the bus terminal for 30 minutes ... finally come home scarf down dinner and sleep.

today: school was pretty blech. it was a bad monday. maia and i got our flu shots at 2:30ish tho. at a pediatrician. hehe. so that was good. then maia came to visit and here is the damage from that:

maia being an adorable english student


me being pissed about other ppl's stuff in MYYYY storage space


me and maia being gossipy schoolgirls!


me and maia studiously discussing the english subject matter



that was a quick update. now back to interview evals. and english camp plans for the week =)

i am important

ok, so as i have previously blogged, i volunteered to do alumni interviews for current duke applicants in korea. so this weekend i will be interviewing 4 early decision students. anyway, in case they are super nerdy and/or committed (as they prob are-they're all international HS students and clearly very motivated/on top of their game) i google searched "christine lim duke" to see what they would see if they decided to research me ...

and graduating from college has made me much more prevalent on google searches ... before this i never got any real "hits" about me ... just other christine lims in singapore and cali and stuff like that. here are some of my sites: *^^* (they are not too exciting ... i'm just listed on my majors' department webpages)

http://www.pubpol.duke.edu/news/awards_2007_more.php
http://fds.duke.edu/db/education/currentnews.html
http://fds.duke.edu/db/aas/Education/alumni
http://fds.duke.edu/db/aas/Education/alumni/c.lim

this one im a little upset about ... one of my profs "miscalculated" my grade and didnt correct it (even after i emailed him and he said he would fix it ASAP) until after graduation and therefore i am under "cum laude" ... altho i am "magna cum laude". at least my diploma has it right! =) hehe altho i wanted my honor to be right in the program for other ppl that i "lost touch" with for "personal" reasons (aka we had a falling out) to see so i could say, "HA! eat that" .... yes i am mature .... i know
http://www.trinity.duke.edu/pdf/honors_awards.pdf

ok, hmm there may be a problem ... the last link on the 2nd page of my search is my blog. aka THIS. RIGHT HERE. i am going through and deleting any reference to "Duke" now.

ok ... google is creepily stalkerish and goes through and "captures snapshots" of your webpage randomly!!! jeeez ... so even after deleting my duke quote and other references ... my blog shows up in the search. oh, well. if i'm interviewing you on saturday and you're reading my blog, well, congrats for trying to be prepared - ppl like you do well at duke.

randoms (good)

me and wint at duke bball game jan 07


so here's something i've been meaning to post and keep forgetting, i got an email from duke and i volunteered to be an INTERVIEWER for duke applicants from KOREA!!! isn't that cool!?!?!? i dunno ... i got really excited ... cuz i miss it so much and they said i'm NOT too young and they LOVE having young alum do interviews cuz we can answer questions about dorm/campus life more accurately so i dont know if i'd go to seoul for the interviews (i dont expect there will be many in my area) or waht but i'm pretty psyched. there is also a duke in korea alum dinner thing at the ritz carlton later this month and i'm really excited for that ... i dunno .. im pretty desperate for any duke action in my life right now ... the duke bball preseason is up and going and i'm soooo upset im not a part of it but oh well .. i knew that when i decided to come here ...

next, it's gotten so COLD recently! i've been wearing pantyhose (or in korean-pantystocking) under my pants to school every day this week .. i dont care if it's lame and oldladyish ... it's FREEZING at school ... i also wear thick knit socks in my classroom and my coat in between classes (sometimes during them too) and basically freezing and trying not to is my newest hobby.

wint me and ashley having dinner at tosca's spring 07


wint finally got the balls to call me on my skype number. hehe. that was something i did not mind waking up to. it was such a surprise and JOY to hear winty's voice!!! she's having her first med school interview tomorrow and im really excited for her and think she'll be greeeeeeeat. ashley has her first/only job interview next week and i'm so psyched for everyone at home doing exciting things in AMERICA ... haha im appreciating life in korea for what it is ... but i really can't wait to go back .. maybe next year i'll feel completely differnetly when it's time to leave but i kinda doubt it ... haha

sister mommy and me at jfk before going to germany aug 05


ok, another great story about my fams: so i told my mom i got cyworld and she was like OH REALLY WHATS UR WEBSITE I WANNA LEAVE YOU COMMENTS ... so i was like ok ok chillax and i emailed her my cyworld ... and the next day in school im bored so i'm searching for her on cyworld and i use her maiden name, her name with my dad's last name and 2 diffferent birthdays to search for her (in korea you dont have to register w/the govt until you go to school at 8 years old so lots of ppl have wrong info on their birth records) so i was searching under her "legal" birthday (since you need to register with your citizen # or passport # for cyworld) and also under her actual real birthdate. i founda BUNCH of matches and left ppl random messages that said "are you my 엄마?" which means "are you my mom?". WELLL, i talk to my mom on the phone later that night and here's what went down: (m=mom c=christine)

m: oh i went to your cyworld but i cant write on it
c: what why
m:i dont have cyworld
c: WHAT!??!? you do NOT have an acct and you thought you could USE it?
m: mm yes
c: what??? why that doesnt even make sense
m: i dont know, i dont have a cyworld, i cant make one bc i dont have a korean citizen #
c: yea i dont either (duh) just send them a picture of your passport
m: yea i dont want to. its too annoying. and then all my information is on the internet and anyone can see it
c: ummm yea but you can change the prefences so only ur friends can see it
m: yea it's too confusing
c: WELL WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU WANTED TO WRITE ON MY CYWORLD
m: why are you yelling at me
c: ...... I WENT LOOKING FOR YOU AND WROTE ON LOTS OF PPLS WALLS WITH UR NAME AND AGE "are you my 엄마?"
m: really?
c: uhhh YES
m: HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA some ppl are gonna be freaked out

yes. this really happened. yes this is my life. haha i'm down for a quick nap before i'm off for the weekend. wish me luck.