People who probably don't deserve to live.

I had originally titled this post "People who need to die" but that seemed unduly harsh and perhaps a bit extreme. So I changed it to reflect a slightly gentler estimation of the dregs/scourge(s?) of society.

Without further ado:

1. Linecutters.
2. People who clog up the escalator passing aisle.
3. People who don't flush the toilet in public restrooms.
4. Linecutters.
5. People who don't wipe down gym machines.
6. People who smoke cigarettes upwind from me.
7. Linecutters. (Seriously, this can NOT be on the list too many times.)
8. People who act like super-douches to service industry workers.
9. People who get on the subway car before everyone gets off.
10. Linecutters.

Oh, right. And rapists, murderers, child abusers, women-hitters (people who hit women, not women who hit others), aaaaaaaaannnnnnnd last but not least, Carolina fans.

GTHCGTH!!!

 

9 PM. ESPN GAMEDAY.

Little victories. And making peace.

Saw this on friend's gchat status:

"I have a week left at this place, and I'm going to steal all the fucking Splenda before I go" - my secretary

And it reminded me, sometimes life is about the little victories. By little victories, I don't necessarily mean the battles we (actually) win or lose.  What I mean is what we consider to be victories and how we make peace with the situations and circumstances we find ourselves in.

For example, let me illuminate with the concept of "Aldrin justice."  This was introduced to me via How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) and it has to do with how the character of Lily Aldrin doles out "justice."  She was previously a kindergarten teacher and believes in punishing bad behavior by taking away something from the perpetrator.  For example, someone at The Gap was mean to Robin and Lily took a pair of khakis (not stealing because she is doling out Aldrin justice).

Aldrin Justice

Lily, as a kindergarten teacher, thought that taking away a "toy" from someone to punish their meanness was fair, i.e. an appropriate response.

My friend's secretary thought that taking all the Splenda from a firm (that probably sucked out her soul and leeched off her blood/sweat/tears for its profits) was fair as well.

As for me?  What is my little victory?  Where do I find my own small justice?  It's maybe super-lame and even a bit of a cop-out, but I'm a huge believer in karma.  So, rather than partaking in my own form of vigilante justice, I make peace with what I perceive as inequities or little rudenesses by reminding myself that karma is indeed a B-word and that other person will get theirs (in the end).

It's a small way out - but it works for me.  One more strategy I use, it's not really a strategy so much as a perspective but it helps me get through the day.  I used to get very frustrated and annoyed at employees in the service industry - particularly restaurant workers: when they forget my order or request, when they were slow in getting me water, and cashiers: when they are SUPER-slow at their job, when they forget to remove the security tag, when they mess up ringing you up/giving you change.

One day (actually, probably many times), my dad would see me get annoyed and verbalize some version of "[This job] is NOT that difficult!" and he told me, "If they were as smart as you, do you think they would be doing this job?"  He meant this as a compassionate comment - that I should have mercy on these folks doing the best they could with what they were genetically/societally given and be more understanding of their shortcomings.  However, I've found you can stretch that into what can amount to small victories (by comparing myself to people who are rude or mean to me).

For example, I had a series of "misunderstandings" with a "friend," where basically I felt I was being used (this friend would only call/text/want to hang out under the pretext of "catching up" when she needed me to do something for her) and would conveniently be busy whenever I initiated contact/spending time together (because, you know, I thought we were friends).  I was upset and a bit angry at first, but then the more I thought about it - I saw there were things missing from her life, her insecurities, her flaws.  I saw that although she had a group of outwardly fabulous friends, she couldn't count on them to support her or be there for her in her times of need.  I realized I was indeed lucky in having great friends I could rely on - friends who were not merely fairweather friends.  And although it's not really "justice" - I realized that I'm lucky in a way that she's not.

I guess, this could be a "victory" if I thought about it as, "Well, you may be using me but ultimately I have true friends and you don't."  But that seems petty and small (but ok, I maybe think that way sometimes - when I am especially upset by how someone has treated me).  But really, I want to be the kind of person my dad is: someone who views the other person's mistreatment of me as a manifestation of their own flaws and then is able to act compassionately in response to understanding that flaw/shortcoming (instead of the way I sometimes see it, which is, as previously mentioned, "Haha, I'm smarter than you and not a McDonald's cashier and so I won't let it bother me when you give me attitude").

So, as per usual, this turned into a bit of a rambling-on about how I make peace with (little) things that annoy me in the world, but here's your USEFUL TUESDAY TAKEAWAY:

Find your own (non-violent) way to make peace with (what happens to you in) the world.

And stick with it.  It'll lower your blood pressure.  You'll produce less cortisol and gain less weight.  You'll be able to let things go instead of letting old grudges fester inside you.  You'll be a happier person.  Eventually.  Maybe.  Then you'll smile more.  And your future spouse will fall in with your smile.  See how I just helped you find the soulmate of your life and future parent of your kids???  Haha =D  Just try it.  Thank me later by serving ice cream cake at your wedding.  ^^

What is wrong with these men?

Image source

So a guy friend brought this to my attention a few years ago: the two voicemails left by "Dmitri" for Olga.

But this other crazy guy via the Internet is new to me (via intern in my office): i-banker's email about being led on.

Seriously, where do these guys come from?  What is their deal?

Their neuroses are not actually what I have a problem with.  To be honest, it sounds exactly like the post-incident super-analysis a (normal) girl would do.  WITH HER GIRLFRIENDS.  IN PRIVATE.  WITHOUT EVER SHARING THESE THOUGHTS WITH THE GUY.

The truly notable thing about these two incidents, other than the fact that they were made public and viral via the Interweb, is the amount of time and energy that the guy put into their response (to the girl's in/action).  Most guys are either "into" a girl or not.  And when a girl dismisses a guy she's NOT into, it usually gets brushed off.

You don't see a whole film genre or subset of TV shows revolving around men getting together and discussing/analyzing their love lives (HIMYM might seem like an exception but it's about one guy telling his kids about his dating life - not sitting around with his guy friends at brunch dishing about his weekend escapades a la Sex and the City).  Although I'll admit I'm seeing a lot more of "sensitive guy dealing with girl issues" in the past few years, it's usually just one part of the guy's character - the show or movie itself is not about the sensitive guy sitting around over-analyzing his girl problems with his bro-sephs (movies like "(500) Days of Summer" - albeit still at the rate of perhaps 1 or 2 films a year).

I'm not gonna get all sexist and generalize and say that men shouldn't have feelings or thoughts.  But you see things like the voicemails and email above and you just wanna say, YOU'RE A GUY.  SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.  GET OVER IT.

So, here's my PSA: Dudes everywhere, please don't be a creepster.  I'm not gonna lie, sometimes ladies can be confusing: some girls are shy and we're told to deflect attention or play hard-to-get.  So if you must, then please push GENTLY, ask her out once again BUT NICELY.  If she still says NO, or nothing at all, let it go.  You are not going to convince me/us/her to date you with your horribly offensive overanalysis of my mental state and childhood experiences based on our chance encounter in the street (in the case of Dmitri) or your crazy overanalysis of our one dinner date (iBanker).  Trust me, there's enough of that overanalysis going on over here from the lady's POV.

Edit: This latter example of a "crazy guy" in the form of a "JPMorgan Don Juan" was just brought to my attention - although I must say this is a quite different context, it still merits a mention (the 1st two being overcritical "Why don't you like me?" pleas after an initial contact that resulted in no followup and this JPMorgan guy being someone who is taking a breakup UBER-badly - in a lying crazy stalker way).

I like: Sarcastic Op-Eds.

I know she's neither running nor mentioned - but she's an image search top hit for "silly republicans" for a reason, right?

Gail Collins starts off her Thanksgiving column thusly:

This year I am giving thanks for the Republican presidential debates.

And goes on to explain why (article here).  I love SNARK.  Teehee.

GAH - I just tried to pick a few choice quotes to include here and I couldn't choose any one ... just go and read it. 

I love that she finds them so entertaining - but I'm a little worried we ("latte liberals") don't take these folks as seriously as we should.  As in, we shouldn't assume other voters find them as amusing and perhaps as harmless as they actually SHOULD be, y'know, if everyone USED their brain... and so we let things slide instead of jumping on how dumb/politically incorrect/obtuse/incorrect/uninformed these candidates are and pointing it out to the voting populace.

Roommates.

It's tough.


I'll admit I'm probably not the easiest roommate to live with.  But I do have a very defined set of rules and guidelines to live by.


My sister sent me the picture below with the following comment: "hahahahaha instantly reminded me of you"

Last picture at 20 Hysterical Roommate Notes

I will say that my law school roommate was probably one of the nicest, most cheerful people I've ever met but we didn't quite see eye-to-eye on how to keep a house.


I finally started leaving her notes - nothing quite so clever as this - although I wish I had.


I did start something along these lines:

2nd pic from 20 Hysterical Roommate Notes

My note said the following:

Original work (c) ChristineisPink

My mom said: "You might be right, but no one's gonna like you."


Ahh - the price of being self-righteous...

Terrorists. Ruin. Everything.

Yet another way the terrorists and the events of 9/11 have made my life more difficult.

I have to send Employment Affidavits out to all of my previous law-related employers for them to fill out and return to me as part of my application to the NY Bar.

The mail in our office doesn't get picked up until 4pm and I wanted these to get processed and sent along their merry way as soon as possible.

So I used Google to find a mailbox nearby with an earlier pickup time.

The USPS website claimed there was only one mailbox within a mile's radius of where I am located with a 12pm (noon) pickup time.

I took my envelopes and walked down Broadway looking for this mailbox.  Curiously there were NO mailboxes on ANY corner of ANY sidewalk. 

I passed these cops a few times walking back and forth where the internet and my iPhone was telling me this mailbox should be.  I was worried they would find my behavior suspicious (clutching several large brown envelopes, checking my phone, and walking up and down the same 100 ft of sidewalk clearly looking for something) so I walked over and asked them in my most "I'm-so-lost-Officer-with-a-capital-O-please-help-me" voice why there weren't any mailboxes on Broadway.

The one cop looked around and said, "Oh, I've never noticed that but they're probably worried about ... terrorists."  He actually paused, looked around furtively, and whispered "terrorists" to me.  He then went back to his normal voice and told me to use the dropboxes inside any of these office buildings.

So, I thanked him, promptly returned to my own building and dropped the envelopes in our dropbox here.  Where they still won't get picked up until 4pm.  And that is how the terrorists ruin everything.  Blergh.

Bizarro boss.

I've posted at least once before about how much  I love Ask a Manager.

But she got this one question that seriously has me scratching my head in a WTF manner.

Like, seriously.  Your boss goes THROUGH your desk to steal your food?

SO WEIRD!!!

Reading stuff like this reminds me of how lucky I am to NOT be in that situation.

But also, SERIOUSLY!?!?!? Who steals other people's food? ESPECIALLY when they know it's YOU?!?!?  And are doing things to try and prevent you from stealing it (putting it in her desk)?!?!?!?  AND YOUR STEALING IT PREVENTS THIS PERSON FROM EATING AT ALL????

OMG.  There are just so many things wrong with this boss, I can't wrap my head around it.

ARGH!!!

The pictures won't load right when I email this uber lovely food post...

You'll have to wait til later tonight when I get home =)

Unicorn hair bath mats.

From the NYTimes:

Fresh towels and throw pillows: add $25,000. Geraldine Onorato represented a client selling a two-bedroom where the buyers received offers for no more than $450,000. Ms. Onorato spent $700 on a fresh bath mat and fluffy white towels and brought in an offer for $475,000.

Ms. Onorato spent $700 on a fresh bath mat and fluffy white towels and brought in an offer for $475,000. 

WHERE IS SHE BUYING THESE TOWELS??? IS THE BATH MAT MADE OF UNICORN HAIR???

 

P.S. The photo subject would like to be credited "for looking so good."

Not so light.

I usually (recently) like to keep my posts pretty light.  But sexual assault has been an issue my SO and I have been discussing quite a bit in the past few weeks stemming from the Julian Assange debacle over on the other side of the Pacific.

One time J asked me if it was "normal" or "typical" to make such a big deal over extradition of an alleged sex criminal.  I couldn't really think of any examples - mostly drug or Mafia lords or mass murderers who sought shelter in South American countries.

Another time J said he hadn't quite believed the sexual assault charges until he read about Assange's OkCupid profile.  He said he couldn't believe that the WikiLeaks founder (someone so influential and smart) could be capable of sexual assault.  I took a breath and chalked this up to J's own gentle nature and inherent trust that all people are good.

I then started in on my whole rant on how nearly ANY man is capable of sexual assault.  All it takes is a "miscommunication" of consent.  I started going on how men RARELY take sexual assault seriously enough and one of the reasons it's treated so lightly in society is because it is, in fact, MEN who are usually in the positions of authority that could DO something about sexual violence (police, doctors, investigators, prosecutors, legislators, etc.).  I don't mean to say there are NO good men out there doing their part against sexual violence and to help but that, in general, it seems that the individuals who are in positions to "do something" about sexual violence are men, themselves.  Would it really be different if women were in charge?  If women were the authority figures who could take charge of crimes of sexual violence?

I'm not calling for a rogue band of justice-wielding women going around cutting off penises left and right.  But I am saying, that men (in general) don't seem to take sexual violence as seriously as I think they should.  I think that very few men can ever really understand the terror that accompanies sexual violence.  Men don't seem to get what years of "be careful after dark," "never be alone after dark," "don't trust strange men," and "call me when you get there" from concerned mothers and fathers does to a woman.

Men don't seem to feel that same powerlessness and fear of being controlled.  This is not just the physical aspect, although that's a huge part of it.  Admittedly I am overly paranoid, but I am a huge ball of nerves when walking alone at night or taking the subway after 11pm.  I have my fingers wrapped around my keys in one hand (sharp objects to scratch an assailant's face) and the other flexed around my phone or iPod - anything to make my fist harder than it is.

Anyway, the catalyst for this post was J sending me a link that led me to this piece by Naomi Wolf in the Huffington Post (highly recommended).  She has worked with battered women and victims of sexual violence for many years and goes over what a travesty the current Julian Assange case is.  The fact that it has become SO high-profile and that the authorities are suddenly taking a sexual assault allegation so seriously is, in Wolf's own words, "a slap in the face."

In my own quick search for information and links for this post, I came across some headlines and stories that the sexual assault allegations are part of a conspiracy backed by the US government - revenge for leaking confidential US documents.  If conspiracy theorists knew ANYTHING about sexual assault, they would know that is possibly the WEAKEST allegation to bring Assange down.  There is a ridiculously sad history of sexual violence going un-prosecuted and given a virtual blind eye.

"Keep Assange in prison without bail until he is questioned, by all means, if we are suddenly in a real feminist worldwide epiphany about the seriousness of the issue of sex crime: but Interpol, Britain and Sweden must, if they are not to be guilty of hateful manipulation of a serious women's issue for cynical political purposes, imprison as well -- at once -- the hundreds of thousands of men in Britain, Sweden and around the world world who are accused in far less ambiguous terms of far graver forms of assault.

Anyone who works in supporting women who have been raped knows from this grossly disproportionate response that Britain and Sweden, surely under pressure from the US, are cynically using the serious issue of rape as a fig leaf to cover the shameful issue of mafioso-like global collusion in silencing dissent. That is not the State embracing feminism. That is the State pimping feminism."  J'Accuse: Sweden, Britain, and Interpol Insult Rape Victims Worldwide

I just totally agree with Ms. Wolf that the powers that be are using the sexual assault allegations as the main prongs for some other retributive motives.  And I find that completely repulsive.  Sexual assault deserves to stand on its own as a truly serious and repugnant offense against humanity.

Rage stroke.

Possibly in the midst of one right now.

Credit