Lawyer humor, even on Vday.

Sent to me by my friend over at . b0103 . who I assume got it via Abovethelaw (and WHY a non-lawyer reads it, I have no idea).

Personalize it and send it over here.

Little victories. And making peace.

Saw this on friend's gchat status:

"I have a week left at this place, and I'm going to steal all the fucking Splenda before I go" - my secretary

And it reminded me, sometimes life is about the little victories. By little victories, I don't necessarily mean the battles we (actually) win or lose.  What I mean is what we consider to be victories and how we make peace with the situations and circumstances we find ourselves in.

For example, let me illuminate with the concept of "Aldrin justice."  This was introduced to me via How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) and it has to do with how the character of Lily Aldrin doles out "justice."  She was previously a kindergarten teacher and believes in punishing bad behavior by taking away something from the perpetrator.  For example, someone at The Gap was mean to Robin and Lily took a pair of khakis (not stealing because she is doling out Aldrin justice).

Aldrin Justice

Lily, as a kindergarten teacher, thought that taking away a "toy" from someone to punish their meanness was fair, i.e. an appropriate response.

My friend's secretary thought that taking all the Splenda from a firm (that probably sucked out her soul and leeched off her blood/sweat/tears for its profits) was fair as well.

As for me?  What is my little victory?  Where do I find my own small justice?  It's maybe super-lame and even a bit of a cop-out, but I'm a huge believer in karma.  So, rather than partaking in my own form of vigilante justice, I make peace with what I perceive as inequities or little rudenesses by reminding myself that karma is indeed a B-word and that other person will get theirs (in the end).

It's a small way out - but it works for me.  One more strategy I use, it's not really a strategy so much as a perspective but it helps me get through the day.  I used to get very frustrated and annoyed at employees in the service industry - particularly restaurant workers: when they forget my order or request, when they were slow in getting me water, and cashiers: when they are SUPER-slow at their job, when they forget to remove the security tag, when they mess up ringing you up/giving you change.

One day (actually, probably many times), my dad would see me get annoyed and verbalize some version of "[This job] is NOT that difficult!" and he told me, "If they were as smart as you, do you think they would be doing this job?"  He meant this as a compassionate comment - that I should have mercy on these folks doing the best they could with what they were genetically/societally given and be more understanding of their shortcomings.  However, I've found you can stretch that into what can amount to small victories (by comparing myself to people who are rude or mean to me).

For example, I had a series of "misunderstandings" with a "friend," where basically I felt I was being used (this friend would only call/text/want to hang out under the pretext of "catching up" when she needed me to do something for her) and would conveniently be busy whenever I initiated contact/spending time together (because, you know, I thought we were friends).  I was upset and a bit angry at first, but then the more I thought about it - I saw there were things missing from her life, her insecurities, her flaws.  I saw that although she had a group of outwardly fabulous friends, she couldn't count on them to support her or be there for her in her times of need.  I realized I was indeed lucky in having great friends I could rely on - friends who were not merely fairweather friends.  And although it's not really "justice" - I realized that I'm lucky in a way that she's not.

I guess, this could be a "victory" if I thought about it as, "Well, you may be using me but ultimately I have true friends and you don't."  But that seems petty and small (but ok, I maybe think that way sometimes - when I am especially upset by how someone has treated me).  But really, I want to be the kind of person my dad is: someone who views the other person's mistreatment of me as a manifestation of their own flaws and then is able to act compassionately in response to understanding that flaw/shortcoming (instead of the way I sometimes see it, which is, as previously mentioned, "Haha, I'm smarter than you and not a McDonald's cashier and so I won't let it bother me when you give me attitude").

So, as per usual, this turned into a bit of a rambling-on about how I make peace with (little) things that annoy me in the world, but here's your USEFUL TUESDAY TAKEAWAY:

Find your own (non-violent) way to make peace with (what happens to you in) the world.

And stick with it.  It'll lower your blood pressure.  You'll produce less cortisol and gain less weight.  You'll be able to let things go instead of letting old grudges fester inside you.  You'll be a happier person.  Eventually.  Maybe.  Then you'll smile more.  And your future spouse will fall in with your smile.  See how I just helped you find the soulmate of your life and future parent of your kids???  Haha =D  Just try it.  Thank me later by serving ice cream cake at your wedding.  ^^

Do happy lawyers exist?

Available at Amazon.com

Available at Amazon.com

Always a good question to ask, not only about careers in general, but for the one that you are currently pursuing.

I always assumed that lawyering was a means to an end for me.  A way to make contacts and gain necessary life experience and marketable job skills for whatever it is I decide I'm passionate about (writing my memoirs in short essays; opening my own day care/nursery school; becoming a professional organizer).

In this Corporette thread discussing whether happy lawyers exist, the ladies dole out some great insight.  I especially liked how Kat mentioned that there are people who like law school and people who like practicing law. 

I'm not sure where I fall right now, because when I started law school I LOVED IT.  But I loved it relative to what I had been doing - being an English-speaking puppet for a country-bumpkin school in Korea for a year (disagreeing wholeheartedly with everyone I had to take orders from not only about education methods and materials but also with the actual substance that I was teaching).

Compared to "working," I fell back into law school and loved it.  I loved preparing for class - I loved thinking there was a right answer, I loved the class discussions and the intellectualness of it all.  THEN, I started to dislike it.  After having "worked," I realized that school is NOT such a big deal.  Missing a reading or getting something wrong in class was NOT the end of the world - I had been in worse "emergency" situations in the past year and survived.  And perhaps that's where I got too lax.

Although I appreciate the perspective that "working" gave me - that a bad answer or less than stellar grade wasn't the end of the world (there ARE other people whose bad decisions and bad consequences are much worse than "a B+! Oh, NO!!!"), I also think it let me be too forgiving of myself.  In that vein, I also lost focus of what I wanted.  Since nothing seemed to be a life or death matter for me, I stopped asking myself the hard questions: What did I want to do?  What did I like to do?  What made me feel good?  What could I see myself doing for the next 20-30 years of my life?

Even now, I don't know if there are any "happy" lawyers - for a lot of my friends it seems like this is the lot they chose and now they must make do.  And there's a sense of not being able to complain because we are considered so lucky (can't complain about your challenging lawyer job when there are so many people fighting for those positions).  Nonetheless, it seems like the job is something some of them merely "put up with" - but for what?  The money?  Perhaps, we are, presumably, responsible adults who understand how education loans work and the promise we made to pay them back. 

But what else?  Why are my friends lawyers?  So many of them spoke of "changing the world," "making a difference," "helping people who really need it," and now nearly all of them are working in BigLaw at large firms who cater to corporate clients - more often than not defending their clients from indigent or vulnerable folks who have (most likely) been taken advantage of.

I believe I may have lost my kernel of thought - but I guess, I wish I knew more to finding this answer.  I recently attended a networking event of women from my undergraduate alma mater and was not surprised to find that I was 1 of 5 JDs in the room.  I WAS disappointed to find that I was 1 of 2 currently practicing attorneys and that the other 3 had transitioned into completely non-law-related careers and the 1 practicing attorney had just moved from commercial litigation to an in-house gig and that they were ALL SO HAPPY with their choices to leave practicing BigLaw.

One last note, the guys I've met (who are lawyers) seem to be more accepting, if not satisfied, with their lives as lawyers.  On the flip side, many of the women I've met are much more unhappy and much more vocal about their unhappiness.  Unfortunately, I'm a woman - so guess what the odds are saying?

One real last note, I think it's important to consider if you're really happy in your job, but it's probably also worth considering if you NEED to be really happy in your job.  I've never been one to define myself by my career - and so my career is not where I get the "meaning" or "purpose" in my life.  As long as my career/job gives me the means to do what I want OUTSIDE of work and doesn't interfere with my life outside of work too much/unnecessarily, I think I'd find myself pretty happy.

This isn't a very focused post - but just some thoughts thrown together around a fairly loose topic...

Useful Tuesday: PR Pros Share Secrets on Getting to the Next Level

I think I saw this short article on Twitter somewhere and sent it to myself to read later.

Nothing too groundbreaking or new, but nothing wrong with a refresher.

I've always heard that the part I quote below is one of the hardest things for women in the workplace to do.  We're just not "taught" that this is acceptable behavior.

How important is tooting your own horn—how do you do it? What if you feel awkward about “bragging”? How can a woman overcome that?

Toot your own horn, just not too loudly. Strike a balance between passive and pesky. It's tricky, especially if you feel awkward about touting your accomplishments. One effective way is not only to pat yourself on the back, but also to pat others harder. When working on a team, don't just highlight the good work you are doing, include and promote co-workers' contributions as well.   

I was at the Harvard APALSA conference this past spring and attended a panel entitled "Women in Leadership."  I forget the exact list of speakers Here's the list of speakers (they were impressive).  One of the women said that you need a brag buddy - this is easier for women than bragging about yourself.  She said to get yourself a brag buddy, which is like a (lady) wingman but for networking events and such instead of bars and broads.  I really liked this idea because it seems a lot more natural and perhaps even more sincere when a friend is singing your praises rather than doing it yourself (of course, this might be harder to do within your own organization - especially if it's rather competitive - but you can find a brag buddy in a different department or specialty to do this for you with your own superiors at work events - and of course you should reciprocate!).  I've been trying to do it (secretly!) with one unni of mine at networking events I drag her to - I hope it works!

I will say, though, their last tip is one of the easiest and super-importantest ones to do.

What kind of paper follow-up do you need after an introduction or interview?

Send an email within 24 hours of the conversation; then a handwritten note within the week of the meeting; and make a follow-up phone call or email two weeks after the meeting if you haven't yet heard back. If you opt for the latter, it's always good to dig around for some industry news or relevant article tied to your conversation that you can share to show that you are still engaged.

 I don't know about the handwritten note (unless I was invited to coffee at the person's home or something similar that took more effort) but I try to email people that I've recently met (usually at a networking or bar event) within the next few days following up on something we discussed and asking if they wouldn't mind continuing that conversation.  Most people I've done this with have been very receptive.  Some people are very busy but even those people usually respond and say email or telephone works.  I'd highly recommend following up quickly though - you want to be one of the memorable ones!

Swearing in ceremony outfit: NJ edition.

So, I had posted a few weeks ago about what to wear to my swearing in ceremony for NJ.  I had quite a few helpful suggestions from my question over at Corporette (I'm comment 14).

I ended up going with the skirt suit because something about pants suits screams "CASUAL" and "HILLARY" (as in Clinton) to me.  And I pulled a hybrid for my shirt.  It was both a button-up and a silk blouse.  I wore a silk button-up blouse with a fancy ruffle collar (I wanted to wear something fun and festive and fancy to signal it wasn't just any other work day!).

Here are close-ups of the ruffle details from eBay (so you can see it's not just any old button-up):

Whole blouse (mine is gold)

Collar and cuff detail

Isn't the blouse lovely?  I think it was originally $495 or so at Saks but my wonderful mother purchased it on crazy-sale in the fall of 2008 (purging of merchandise when ppl stopped shopping after the financial mortgage crisis/collapse of the big banks) for something like $100.  I usually feel a bit too uncomfortable to wear something so luxe to my government workplace but it was perfect for a special event!

Originally tried black tights but something seemed a bit off.

And as the kind commenter AnonInfinity pointed out, collar out seemed a little wonky, so:

The official outfit in full was collar in, nude-for-me hose (except the sheen on the hose makes my calves look uber-wide):

Real.

In less than 12 hours I will be a real. live. lawyer.

At least in New Jersey :)

Image Sources:
http://www.lifecoachlaurie.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/the-real-deal.jpg

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvQMR8G4UnZXGE-3aMuTQx4JSIWN2az9iZ88pLkkSaxGT_rY2vCxmWI5WlHKR5NK3tdb0WA336OIzhOuoMbybCMU48K9tP7NM7BgeGG7JQ83yPwvBWU6rwHZXpl2MBS0bCAUwcWP0J_jI/s320/mission-accomplished.jpg

What to wear to a swearing-in ceremony?

Source

Unlike NY, whose registration to take the bar exam is almost too quick and painless, NJ requires your application to the bar to be submitted way back in April as part of the exam registration.

What this means is that while in NY, finding out you passed the bar is the first step to completing your application to the bar, in NJ, the bar score is the last step.

I found out that I passed the NJ bar exam on November 17th and the swearing-in ceremony is tomorrow in Trenton.

I figured I'd wear a suit, but trying to decide on the details, I turned to Google.
(Details: skirt vs. pants? button-up vs. blouse? scarf or brooch?)

One of the top hits: The Dos and Don'ts of Swearing-In Fashion.

Hmm... maybe I'll try to pick up a sequined cowboy hat on my way home from work today?
Or better, since I'm from NJ, I'll go get a nice orange spray tan a la Jersey Shore to represent?


I also posted the question over at Corporette, so hopefully I'll get some responses there.

Sunday nights vs. Monday mornings.

Source

This is EXACTLY how I feel right now.

Still finishing up a memo that's due tomorrow morning and knowing I have to go into work and finish up a memo that was due last week.

(Hey, 1 out of 2 memos on time is better than 2 out of 2 memos late!).

Content.

A good night spent with friends. Who all passed the bar. And I still get to sleep my usual 6 hours. Win!

Official bar exam results.

Available here.  Click on the K to L panel and scroll down to me!!!

(Actually most of my close friends are on that page, 4 Kims and a Kwak!)

Also, some stats from this year's exam:

11,182 candidates sat for the 2-day exam.
69.2% of all candidates who sat the exam passed.
78.5% of all first-time takers passed.

Only 35.4% of all foreign-educated candidates passed.
My sympathies - English is a brutal language =(

Passed the NY bar.

Win!

  

Edited: Ha.  Anonymous blogger FAIL.

Law School Lies.

An Occupy Wall Street perspective on the current law school/legal climate.

Being a "volunteer attorney" and working with a handful of other volunteers sponsored by my law school's "generous" government fellowship program - we talk about these types of numbers and the truthiness of it all quite a bit.

Of kidnappings and ransoms.

Source.

I read a case (a few days ago) about a fund that was created to pay out rewards for information following an upstate NY girl's kidnapping.  This led to a 40-minute Google search down the rabbit hole about well-publicized kidnappings and abductions and changes to American law (ie. AMBER alert).

Now I have a weird question about policy/ethics regarding a reward/ransom.

A few weeks ago I read a NY Times Magazine article about an older English couple who was kidnapped by pirates and held captive for over a year.  (True Confession: I actually started reading this rather lengthy article because I thought it was a fiction piece with all the fun and fanfare of Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.)  It took their family that much time to come up with the money and also other liaisons to set up an exchange.  The thing is the British government policy is NEVER to pay ransom.

Contrast this with one of the cases I read on Wikipedia about Arjan Erkel who was kidnapped doing work for Doctors Without Borderrs and then released 20 months later when the Dutch government paid a ransom of €1,000,000. 

What are the incentives put in place by a country's ransom policy?  What is the conduct that we are encouraging or discouraging?

Disregarding the fact that the Dutch guy was actually imprisoned/kidnapped for a longer time, has the Dutch government focused a kidnappers' target on their citizens?  Will pirates and other evildoers focus on Dutch citizens because Holland pays ransom whereas England does not?  Or are the countries helping to spare the lives of their citizens?  Will a pirate kill his English victim upon finding out the victim is not wealthy and that his country will not pay a ransom for his return?  According to the Times Magazine article, keeping a hostage is very expensive.  If you have little chance at reaping a ransom, isn't it cheaper to "dispose" of your hostage?

Very difficult questions, indeed.  Today is one of those days I'm glad I'm not one of those key policy-decisionmakers.

Oh, Canadaaaaaa.

Source.

I went to a cocktail mixer for recent alumni of my law school last night (classes of 08 through 11 seemed to be there).  I met a Canadian LLM who graduated in 2011 (same year as me) and he was just delightful.

Something that stuck in my head is his perception of how rich and colorful US history is compared to Canadian history.  For example, he said he was learning about the (US) Civil War in middle school and then they went on winter break before finishing the unit and all he could think was, "What happens NEXT!?!?"  He had no idea how the Civil War was going to end/ended. 

(Ahem, excuse me, I'm referring to the war that is known as "The War of Northern Aggression" in some circles.  In some, Southern, circles.  My freshman year roommate from Georgia told me this is how she learned it.  By the way, she was what we currently call, African American.)

Anyway, the LLM was just amazed that we had this whole history of slavery and owning people and fighting wars about it.  Apparently Canada has had none of that.  And he was just enraptured by it.

This led into a discussion of the dearth of cases on the "tortious interference with chattels."  Apparently, he had to look up cases on this (made relevant today by the issue of people using GPS tracking on OTHER people's phones to stalk them or otherwise invade their privacy).  The problem was, there were NO prior cases about the tortious interference with chattels.  With someone else's chattels (chattels = property that is not real property where "real property" = land/homes).

Oh, but wait.  There were a FEW cases.  A few OLD cases.  The ONLY reported/published cases documenting the legal history of tortious interference with chattels was about SLAVES.  About people messing with their neighbors' slaves.  And he was just not going to cite those to prove the point that it's wrong to mess with someone else's stuff. 

And somehow, in the space of a few paragraphs, this post has gone from being about "Oh, Canada" (SMH) to "Oh, UHH-merr-kuh" (SMH).  (Where SMH = shaking my head; and Uhh-merr-kuh is how my sister pronounces "America" when we are referring to something shameful, or backwards, or super-red-statey about our great country).

Example of things that prompt "UHH-merr-kuh":
1. Overweight/obesity/morbid obesity epidemic (TV shows like "Heavy")
2. People who think the sun revolves around the earth
3. Anything related to Palin/Bachman
4. Anything about American stupidity in general (especially geography)

I'm sure you can think of more...

Mug "shirts."

Are these mug shots for real?

I always wondered who actually buys this stuff.  And WEARS it.  In PUBLIC.
Apparently doing stupid, allegedly illegal things!

(re)new beginnings?

Today ways lsst day pf freedom. Tomorrow I'm starting my 6-month fellowship at the REDACTED Office of the REDACTED. Secisidng to blog after taking an AmBien was not art and everything ia so difficult right now. Ek I'm surethoa is aess. Cleanup tomorrow!!!

Many many thoughts. Many many many. O wish you could www me phone machine. It's fuzzy like a doll
Monster. Keys are teeth and fuzzy like felt. It's all glowing and shimmering. I think I snood let the drugs do they thang.... Sleepy sleep timesss

But not today.

I thought today would be June 1st.  I'll be starting my drawing challenge tomorrow - so the days and numbers match up!

=)  Just handed in a 40-page final paper.  Now I'm FINALLY done with law school!

And onto the BAR EXAM!!!
(listening to the 3 hour lecture I missed this morning now...) BOOooooOOoOoOOoOoOOoo~~

Note to self: Do not Google how to destroy my enemies...

This article discusses the evolving case against Jared Loughner (Arizona gunman responsible for supermarket shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and others) and the likely use of his internet search history in the case against him.

We (or at least I) already knew the following:

Information posted on sites like Facebook and MySpace has already been used by police, probation officers, and university officials to punish criminals who were dumb enough to make information of their wrong-doing public.

The article adds:

Increasingly though, non-public web search information like the kind being used against Loughner is being forcibly collected from defendants’ computers or even subpoenaed directly from websites that the suspects used. 

Interesting ...

While many people support prosecuting pedophiles, murderers, and terrorists using any information attainable, these sorts of cases set judicial precedents that can’t be easily erased.

True.  And while I want the right to privately search whatever I want on Google (sometimes a girl has questions that she can only ask anonymously...) I also want police to be able to do this:

Another example of this same sort of privacy invasion happened when a 4-year court case came to a close after the conviction of Rosario DiGorolamo. After years of pleading his innocence to the courts he finally admitted his guilt after records for “lethal karate blows to the back of the head” were revealed.  These internet searches were made just before his wife’s murder, which was carried out in a similar fashion.

 Call me old-fashioned, but if you can PROVE that an alleged murderer did an internet search on HOW to commit the murder, you should just go ahead and use that evidence.

So the takeaway, start using public library computers that can not be traced back to you...Or just don't murder people.

Discrepancy.

Saw these referenced today on a legal blog.  It's only funny b/c it's so true.

Law firm website v. What ppl are looking for

Source

Lawyer bios v. What ppl want to know

Source

korea lookback (part 1?)

Originally drafted February 5, 2009.

For the Fulbright program, I was placed at an elementary school with
about 1700 students from grades 1 through 6. I actually taught every
single student at least once during my year there. I was chosen for
that school because they were running a pilot program to begin
teaching English in 1st and 2nd grade. Currently the English
curriculum in Korea begins in 3rd grade. My main responsibility was
preparing and teaching the 1st and 2nd graders. There were 7
homerooms per grade with about 40 students per homeroom. I had to
teach in all English to students with NO previous English experience
with the aid of the native Korean homeroom teacher, who also had
little to no previous English experience.

I was given a provisional textbook created by the school I believe in
the year prior to my arrival and had to use it. There were many
challenges and difficulties in this process. The textbooks had no
logical order in the way things were presented, there was little logic
to the themes of the chapters that I could deduce. This was not
really anyone's fault, as the textbooks were prepared by the same
homeroom teachers I was working with (no previous English
experience!). Nonetheless, I found ways to try and introduce basic
verbs and nouns along with classroom English that would make the
classes flow smoothly.

I had to learn to relax a little and go with the flow. I figured out
the best way to engage my students was to institute a bit of a routine
for the beginning of class (something they could recognize and use to
gain their bearings when we met each week) and also to work with a lot
of visual aids and hands on activities. I tried to keep the materials
relevant to their experiences and relate the lessons to things they
were familiar with (using Korean cartoon characters for a body parts
lesson/puzzle, using ancient Korean artifacts and traditional games
and instruments to learn the "what is this?" "it's a ...").

I also got a lot of experience in showmanship and presentations. We
held open demonstration classes at least once a month. My class was
taped for two different shows on Korea's English education TV station.
And near the end of my year we held a truly open demonstration class
for all the teachers and principals in the province. For several of
these classes (especially in the beginning) I often would come to
class to find that the AV stuff didn't work or they had considerately
taken DOWN my projector and taken it away for cleaning without
accounting for the fact that I would need it back FOR the open class.
It was definitely a year of interesting experiences, I learned to be
patient, creative, to deal with stressful situations, and to make the
best of every moment.

In the end, I think the biggest thing I learned that it wasn't about
me. There was so much of my year there that was about the students
and the school and I was just there to do what was necessary to help
them. I guess this is the thing that is really different from being a
student. In the big sense, students are necessary for college to
work. If NO one showed up for class or paid tuition, colleges would
become obsolete. But, if I personally didn't show up every day ready
to do my part, it really didn't have a big effect. But in Korea, I
guess it was my first real "job" and I realized that I really had to
step up to the plate and always be accountable and responsible and
what it was like to have other people count on me, to be part of a
team. And even if I didn't completely sign on with the things I had
to do or support, that's what being part of a team was. There was
compromise and negotiation and I finally learned what, "I scratch your
back and you scratch mine" applied to.

I guess that turned out to be a lot longer than I meant. I apologize,
but it was kindof therapeutic in a way. I haven't had to digest it
quite like that for someone yet. Other responsibilities in brief,
like I said I came into contact with EVERY student at the school at
least once. They really put me to work. In addition to the 14
regular 1st and 2nd grade classes each week, I taught 2 teacher
classes (1 general to all teachers and 1 intermediate level with the
English subject teachers). And I designed, created, taught an
afterschool English "camp" for 3 hours each week (rotating grades 3
thorugh 6) and also taught advanced language "club" type classes 2x a
week (3-4th grade and 5-6th grade). So, a lot of responsibility. I
came up with and designed all the materials and curricula for all of
the programs.

At Columbia, so far I have been taking a bit of a breather to get back
into the swing of things. Last semester I focused mainly on my
classes. This semester has been a bit busier just by the nature of
the programs I'm involved in. I'm on the Career Symposium committee
for the Columbia Society for International Law. We're puttng together
panel discussions for a 2 day event from attorneys who do
international law 2/18-19. I'm also involved witht the Public
Interest Law Foundation, which grants stipends for alls tudents who
work with nonprofit or governemnt organizations in the summer. I am
involved with their Annual Bid for Justice charity auction (held the
first week of March). The money from the auction helps fund the
summer student stipends and also grant requests from public interest
groups.

I am also a member of a student-faculty committee that is
working on the design for a new reading room in the law library.
there is currently a dearth of space, it's kindof similar to the
before (Perkins library) and after (Bostock) on a smaller scale. I
love libraries but hate the law library because it's the opposite of
everything i think a library should be (inspirational, beautiful, with
a sense of calm and yet energy) and so I applied to be on the reading
room committee to help the library realize its potential. (definitely more on this later...)