a few true confessions

ok because i'm super sleepy and made myself stay up to write postcards to people i love, this will be quick.

a few confessions:

1. i am a shopaholic
i originally started this blog (before i went public with it) to deal with my shopaholic-ism. i was really into it and researched it on many fronts. i would record my spending sprees and times i was good and restrained even when it was really hard. it was kinda like an AA meeting but just for me (and eventually my younger sister) in blog form. anyway, since i've been in korea, i've been spending nonstop. if it weren't for my parents and sister in college, i'd be totally in debt right now. one of my main goals in coming to korea was to learn to live without, to come with 3 suitcases and leave with 3 suitcases. right now that's totally not going to happen. i need to revert back to this goal and focus. my mom is sending some of the books i really wanted to read that deal with shopping as an emotional/psychological outlet and how to strip down the unnecessary things in life. hopefully, i'll work back to where i was (minimalist spender in april/may) and improve on now (altho improving on my habits now REALLY won't take much)

2. i am impatient and unkind
this weekend made me realize how impatient and intolerant i've become in recent months. i have especially been using my "i'm always on the edge of crazy bc of korea" as a shield/excuse for saying any and every little thing that crosses my mind. i've been unusually harsh on everyone around me, and i KNOW/recognize that happens when i'm really unhappy. so from now on, i'm gonna work on watching my mouth and NOT letting every little thing annoy me. i REALLY used to be much more tolerant of people. i was never GOOD at it, but better than i have been here. i guess part of it is also being thrown into such close proximity w/ppl i totally had no power to choose (in college it was easy to surround yourself w/only ppl you like!) - but the real world and "work" will be more like this, so it'll be good practice for my "people skills" - i was NOT good at sharing and being nice in pre-k and it's starting to show ...

3. my english is going downhill
my MOM is commenting on how horrible my english grammar and pronunciation are ... wow i need to learn english ... hehe ... also i feel like my korean is going downhill also, a lot of the time i get away with this pidgin of both english and korean (which i KNOW from linguistics only happens when you have a firm grasp on BOTH languages and their structures) but continually using the pidgin INSTEAD of rather than in ADDITION to the two original languages deteriorates my usage of the English and Korean. so i've missed the deadline for taking korean classes at chungbuk university for this semester (but i might be allowed to join anyway bc my hostparents work there) but i'm gonna try to at least hold on to english (someone send me the NEW YORKER) by reading more and watching more CNN hehe but will really concentrate on korean language acquisition/improvement next year, march. (the winter semester here is during my travel time)

P.S. i'm getting a shipment of books from home soon!!! 엄마-i LOOOOOVE YOUUUU and omg i'm sooooo excited, that's the best news i've heard in a long time!!!!