Ok, so here are 2 nytimes article on presents and what they mean
article 1
article 2
in short, they sum up what i mostly believe: gifts are symbolic of what ppl think of you, how they want you to think of them, how they view you, what they want you to be/do.
and so it DELIGHTS me when i receive a completely appropriate wonderful gift and kindof makes me "blanch" at gifts i get from ppl i THOUGHT knew me but then the gift makes me go, "WHAT???"
next thought: love - if that is where horrid gift stems from, is it really just the thought that matters? or does "thought" encompass how much "thought" they put into it/how well they know you?
to me happiness comes from successful gifting and receiving well-gifted items. i LOVE giving gifts that DELIGHT people or make them be like, OMG HOW DID YOU KNOW??? not only is it a good gift it's a signal to both the recipient and to me that, YES i do know you that well and i care enough about you to think through all your interests and hobbies and personality to pick out such an appropriate gift.
for example, so far i know that my family and most of my friends enjoy their gifts. this brings me immense immeasurable pleasure because it reaffirms to me that i know my loved ones well, and the feedback says it makes my loved ones happy and that clearly makes me happy.
receiving gifts that show ppl know me well are another kind of happiness. but sometimes getting gifts that are like WAAAAAAT what the HECK do you think of me that made you think i would enjoy this? is a real wake-up call to my relationship with that person.... and it makes me wonder if they know me at all? or if it's even necessary to know a person well enough to give them gifts that they enjoy to "know them well". is it possible to know someone really well and still give them gifts that make them say, "WTH mate?"
my 22nd bday gifts from fam/friends
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