ok first, somehow i dropped the ball this year. SATURDAY was the one month countdown beginning to my birthday and somehow i let that slip by unnoticed. this is completely unprecedented. does this mean i'm growing up? normally, i've begun posting my want list by like 3 months before my birthday. but somehow in the drudgery misery that was winter break in the cold, i lost sight of the shining goodness that is my birthday =) i'll start posting my wish list soon. i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do.
2ndvely, ive been hearing that i've become pretty zen about my last few months here. i mostly find myself agreeing. i'm dealing with and reacting to bad news, annoying news, annoying last-minute changes pretty well. maybe part or most of that really is due to a change in attitude, now i'm only counting down, the hardest battles have already been fought and won kind of mentality. in any case, all the things that annoyed me last semester and should be annoying me this semester somehow for whatever reason, aren't. not only that but i dont feel like it's a big deal (last semester, EVERYTHING was a big deal, and i felt defeated, and like the whole country was ganging up on me but no more). laura's blog entry on how she feels like a vet now. yea i feel that way, new teachers ask me how to do stuff all the time.
ok, so spring, weather, i dunno, i'm just in a good place. i'm in a good mood. excepppppppppt for ..... FOOD. somehow going home has rejuvenated me in all ways but also ruined my taste for korea. not that it was so good before. the cafeteria ladies know i don't take any banchan but the protein and potatoes sometimes. everyone in general knows i rarely enjoy korean food, but now it's turned into i can barely TOLERATE korean fare.
i have several theories, the forefrontest of them is that the stomach virus/illness that was my reason for going home in the first place also plays a mental role. so i was violently stomachly ill (leave the rest to your imagination) which led to like 4 days of eating nothing but jook before going home. at home i had such amazing food and almost nothing i eat in korea. which is to say i ate "korean" food like kalbi and seolleongtang but only because i never eat them here. i had NO jjigae, thank god and barely any rice.
anyways, upon my return to korea the mere SMELL of korean food made my stomach turn. the merest whiff of koreany food smells excited my gag reflex and so i've been eating almost only rice at home and school. i was going to make sandwiches to take to school for lunch but we're in a period right now where it's best for me to lay low and not do anything to catch the VP's eye. it's been that kind of week last week.
anyway, i have no appetite for korean food and i've literally been wasting away. i haven't been this skinny since like, high school. or something like that. i eat PB&J every day, which would explain why i'm starrrrrving. UNTIL korean food is placed in front of me, and my hunger instinct gets cut off like THAT *snaps fingers*.
i just sit in my room and daydream about goldfish, potato chips, pringles, baked lays, greasy french fries w/mayo, pasta covered in oil, pizza, and the like. i'm starving but not hungry. this must be what hell is like. i'm so glad the weather is soooooo lovely. or else i'd just be inconsolable.
yes, i am a child of the sun. flower child. spring child. despite my food problems i couldn't be happier and i'm sure half the reason is the spring i feel in the air. perhaps i'll go up to seoul next week to get a fill of some greasy american food. p.s. i'm a fool for leaving my perfect spring shoes at home. they were a bday present from my sister soph year:
basically THIS shoe
in THIS material.
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