Thursday, March 15, 2012

"I totally support you peeing anywhere..."

(I had originally scheduled this for next Tuesday 3/20 but I had two different friends/readers complain to me today that I hadn't updated in FOREVER, so here you go, a Useful Thursday!).

Soooooooooo, I totally said that recently to a friend at a cafe after lunch... and realized AS IT WAS LEAVING MY MOUTH that it didn't properly convey what I meant.  So here I will explain.

What I meant to say was, "No, I don't mind sitting here alone while you go to the bathroom because I totally and completely understand and encourage going to the bathroom whenever there is one available when you are out and about and about to leave your current location."  That is what I meant to say - but I didn't have enough time to get it out (haha, pun?) before she walked away.

Where do these sentiments come from?  What is the source of my magnanimous attitude towards my companions abandoning me to use the bathroom?  Well, that answer can be found a month or two ago.  Ooh, my transformation occurred on Sunday, January 22, 2012.  That is because Google just told me that the Lunar New Year in 2012 occurred on Monday, January 23, 2012 (also, Google calls it "Chinese New Year," which I find somewhat offensive and surprisingly inaccurate).  In honor of Lunar New Year, my dad took our family to Flushing for Sunday dinner, to get some truly authentic Asian (Korean) food, it being a "new year" and all.

As per my usual habit, I had consumed at least 4 glasses of 8 oz. of water with the meal.  I like to stay hydrated.  Also, this was a habit I developed in college when my stomach was a bottomless, ravaging pit that nothing could satisfy.  My solution to neverending hunger, at least from a financial (and somewhat calorical) standpoint) was to try and fill some of that bottomless pit with calorie-free, free to drink, water.  Unless I gulped down water any time food wasn't actively in my mouth, one app, one entree, one dessert, and one drink was NOT enough to fill me up.  And really, you can't afford to spend more than $30-50 per meal in Durham, NC.  I normally had at least one full glass before any food arrived.  Another 2-3 glasses during the app/entree, and at least one more glass during dessert.  And this is in addition to any alcoholic beverage I might enjoy.

So back to the point, I had drank a not-so-modest amount of water.  As I considered the at least an hour drive back to my house, I figured I would be fine (in terms of when I would need a bathroom next).  Also, while the food at this particular restaurant was quite tasty, it was also a bit "dive-y," and so I had my doubts about the cleanliness of the bathroom.  About halfway home, I realized my body was sending me messages and I hoped we'd get home soon.  Then something happened that made me realize God (or the universe, which may even be one and the same) wanted me to learn a very specific lesson that night.

As we were rolling along the highway, a tire blew out, we had a flat.  My dad slowly pulled over to the side of the highway, a mere ONE exit away from the one we take to our house!!!  As he got out of the car I asked how long it would take and informed my parents that I was "urgent" (in Korean, if you say you are "urgent," that is a euphemism for having to use the bathroom - I learned this after a super-crazy cab ride in Korea when I told a taxi driver "I am urgent" meaning I was in a hurry but he thought I was going to use his vehicle as a lavatory).

Anyway, to make this already long story shorter, we got the tire fixed up, raced home, and I shot out of the car before my dad could put it in park, tore into the house and relieved myself (as us ladies are wont to do).  So, THE LESSON: ALWAYS USE THE BATHROOM BEFORE YOU LEAVE A PLACE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN IN TRANSIT BEFORE ARRIVING AT A NEW PLACE WITH A BATHROOM.

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