Sunday, April 18, 2010

Forgiveness. Or at least, Letting Go.

Source: Fan blog

I received an email on December 29th, 2009 from one of my closest college gal pals. She sent along this article/post from Daily Candy with the comment: "how i felt toward [REDACTED]"

There had been some "drama" several years ago with the (ex?) friend that she named. To be accurate, it occurred when we were still in college so about 2.5 to 3.5 years ago. Anyway, it hadn't occurred to me that even now, 3+ years after everything had happened, she still might have trouble getting her feelings out in words and letting it all go.

However, I had also been through/was still going through some unnecessary and unwanted drama in my own life. One of those situations when someone goes from Most Trusted Friend to Enemy of the State. Anyway, I've found that reading through while filling the blanks DOES have a calming effect and reproduced the letter below.

If you're harboring any ill will or negative feelings, I say give the "fill-in-the-blank" a go and see if it helps. As cliche and "Gossip Girl" as it (the letter's tone) seems, it's a useful tool in putting feelings/thoughts into words. Especially for those of you/us who are wont to hold things in. Also, all it is is a template. And it does a pretty decent job at that.

Highlights: Honesty (recognizes both the bad AND the good) and Tone (ends on a positive note)

Dear ___ [name of frenemy],

After reflecting on our ___ [Freudian term] relationship, I realized that you suck the energy out of me like ___ [2009 vampire protagonist]. My therapist told me to get everything off my ___ [body part], so here goes:

Truth is, I never liked going ___ [trendy retro leisure sport] with you. I’m not your personal ___ [pathetic reality TV sidekick]. And it’s no secret that you ___ [past-tense verb] my boyfriend. I’d ask if you were on ___ [prescription drug], but I already know the answer, since you stole it from my ____ [aging relative].

Of course, there were magical times (guzzling whiskey cocktails at ___ [favorite NYC gastropub], charging clog boots at ___ [favorite indie boutique] on your mom’s credit card), but I want to move into 2010 as a healthy, ___ [positive emotion] person.

I do blame you for my ___ [sign of aging] but otherwise no hard feelings. Here’s to making 2010 as drama free as ___ [PBS documentary title].

___ [your name]

No comments: