Friday, November 14, 2008

i miss dating.(fake-out)

0r at least i think i do. and i deemed this important enough to get up out of bed, despite a pounding headache (the onset of which had nothing to do with imbibing alcoholic beverages - although i almost wish it had), power on my new baby laptop, drag it in bed with me, log in to blogger and start typing.

so i haven't really written in really, quite a long time. and i've apologized for that over and over again. moreover, even my recent writings have lacked a certain edge, a certain passion, the "soul" if you will has been MIA.

i don't really know how to explain that. i guess i'm no longer sure who my audience is. or maybe i've become TOO aware of who my audience MAY be. now that i'm in law school in ny, among native english speakers, among fellow students, i've lost a sense of anonymity.

surely, as i wrote my blog in korea i did feel safe, insulated somehow. the only ppl i thought i was speaking to were my loved ones an ocean, continent, and miles away. my other audience comprised of ppl in the same country as me, but separated by cities and countless koreans who had no idea what i was writing or talking about. there was definitely a certain sense of insularity and i guess even a feeling of disconnect that ironically made my writing truer and more sincere.

now that i'm back in the states, i've had a million excuses and theories why i don't write: no time, nothing to complain about, not a habit i had in america, etc.

but somehow tonight, as i was lying in bed waiting for sleep to sneak into my mind and blindfold me and claim me as the night's until the morning, i had a fleeting thought. a fleeting thought that turned into a few phrases. then sentences. and finally onto a paragraph and a vague outline for a full entry.

so here i am, blabbing on about absolutely NOT the topic that got me here. maybe this was just what i needed tho. an inroads to starting blogging anew.

so yes, dear readers, it may be too early to declare that i'm back. but let's tentatively make an appointment. say for sometime in the next 2 days. i'll go and write that entry that got me up and typing in the first place, and i promise to post it soon. the contents of that entry promise to be much more entertaining than this one.

and tiny little last aside, maybe i need a tagline. what is she talking about you ask. well let me tell you. so i really got into gossip girls in the past month and the premise of the show is a gossip blog/cell text "ring" if you will and the show's narrator is the blog author. so she starts every episode with some variation of "morning upper east siders..." and ends each episode with "you know you love me xoxo gossip girl." so yea, THAT's what i'm talking about when i say maybe i need a tagline.

maybe i need a cute little signoff signature thing. feel free to suggest some. or you'll have to deal with whatever insipid tagline i dream up. i'll try a few different ones out first. starting with:

legally yours, (read: c dot pink)

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