Flashback: Korea

Byline: The Masseuse Who Tried to Kill Me, and the One I Love

So, since coming home, i've called upon my parents to take me to "Super King Sauna" twice including today.

It's as close to a Korean 찜질방 as I've found in the States. Actually, it was one of the destinations that I NEVER missed out on during my trips from home during college. It was the only place I insisted on going. Even the restaurants stopped mattering, but the sauna did not. Let me tell you why.

Not only is this modeled after Korean-style public bathhouses, but it's also home to the "DDEH massage". A fundamental part of this experience. Basically you're lying naked while an ajumma scrubs/exfoliates all the dead skin off your body. AMAAAAAAAZING. You have NO idea until you've tried it and seriously leave the place feeling light as a feather.

Anyway, this is the main topic of today's post.

But first, a short aside - I had my "Flashback: Korea" moment with an overly friendly stranger in the hottest of the whirlpool tubs. So I'm sitting in there talking to my mom about my weekend (PHILLY W/COLLEGE FRIENDS!!!) when a random Korean woman at least as old as my mom joins us and after looking at me for a minute or two, the following takes place (in Korean):

Strange Woman: Is this your daughter? (to my mom)
Mommy: Yes
SW: She has such beautiful breasts
M: Oh... um, thanks
SW: They're so perky and well-shaped, isn't she lucky? Although, if she were in Korea, she wouldn't want them that big ...

And it only got more ... for the lack of a better word, invasive(?)/interesting(?)/uncomfortable(?) ...

My mom is like me and is not a huge fan of talking to strangers or of fairly intrusive strangers w/no bounds.. so as soon as we could politely end the conversation, she turns to me and is like, WOW IT'S BOILING HOT IN HERE, LET'S GO TO THE STEAM SAUNA... (which makes no sense - if cooling off is the goal...)

Anyway, that was my Korea flashback b/c of the rudeness, and bluntness, and obsession w/others' appearances, and lack of propriety, etc etc etc.

Okay, today's main event, the two different ajummas...

After a few weeks of law school (ok, really just Legal Methods) my parents decided I was too tired and stressed out and took me to the sauna for a ddeh massage. This entails the sloughing off of the skin as previously described PLUS an actual full-body massage at the end.

THE woman who called my number was a new woman who I hadn't seen before. She assured me I would feel 1,000x better after the massage. She started off with the sloughing and it was SO ROUGH that I swear she was tearing off the skin underneath that hadn't even formed yet and some of that fat underneath my skin... NORMALLY gentle but repetitive rubbing does the trick of peeling off only the dead, dull skin and leaving the healthy young skin intact. Anyway, she kept asking me, "Oh, isn't this SO refreshing and relaxing?" with such enthusiasm and confidence I idiotically decided not to hurt her feelings by agreeing as best as I could through gritted teeth.

NEXT, the massage. SO, after ripping off all my skin, she starts to MASSAGE my raw skin. And I kid you not, this is the best way to describe her method of massage. It felt like, she had watched a couple VIDEO tutorials on massaging, knew what the moves LOOKED like, and then decided, confidently, that the key to a good massage was BRUTE STRENGTH. So she gave me horrible towel burn by ripping into my skin w/o taking into account that the towel covering me was supposed to move WITH me, not against me. And she continued to pretty much PUMMEL me and KNEAD me as though I were some dough she were ALLERGIC to and HATED with all her might. All the while, continuing to ask me brightly, "Oh, isn't this SOOOO wonderful?" and I had not the wherewithal to answer because I was concentrating all my might on gritting my teeth, tensing my body, and NOT squealing. It got to the point that any time she took her hands off me, I would exhale and relax for a split second until I felt her hands again and tensed up to defend against the onslaught of pain ...

FLASH FORWARD 3 weeks or so to tonight. Since tomorrow's Rosh Hashanah and two of my profs are Jewish, I only have CivPro in the morning. So I called my mom to ask if I could do dinner w/my parents in NJ, buy some groceries, and we could go to the sauna. I've been on the brink of a cold for a week and my dad's been on my case that a trip to the sauna will fix it.

So, we arrive in the sauna and my mom asks me if I want a DDEH massage. And thinking of what happened last time I'm all like, UM NO. But then she insists and as we near the appointment desk I see it's the woman I love love love!!! So I say yes please and then the receptionist asks if any of the massage ladies is ok and my mom started to say YES when I blurt out, NO, I want THIS ajumma (and thrust my chin shyly at the woman behind her who was smiling at me). So, they're like laughing and like umm ok sure ... and I'm like NO NO she's the best!!

And she is! She was the first ajumma I had here when the place first opened way back when (def at LEAST 2003, I forget if it was even before that ...) and she is SO wonderful. It never hurts, she's so effective, and she does all these little things that make a big difference. After booking for an appt 20 minutes later, I spent the next 20 minutes in expectant happiness (minus the awkward experience w/the lady commenting on my chest).

Long story short, one of my BEST ddeh massages ever!!! So gentle, and the massage was simultaneously soothing and relaxing yet to the point. She did all the little things that matter, remembering to keep me warm, putting my head at the most comfortable angle, tying my hair every time it got loose, covering my eyes securely so water wouldn't get in, etc. She's so great. I heart her. I feel so relaxed and wonderful that I've actually been writing this whilst fighting my droopy eyelids for the past - since I got back ...

So, good night. I will try try TRY to update more often. Just as dedicated as I was in Korea.
Will have to make this my new procrastination/break hobby instead of Amazon.com.
hehe - good luck to all in school/new jobs right now =)

LAWSCHOOL.

so it has been brought to my attention that i have neglected my blog of late. (KIMMY)

well, if you look at my past entries, you'll see that i've used this as a forum to complain and rant as much as anything else.

and it IS the happy status of my life that i currently have MANY less things to complain about.

i LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE school!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! omgomgomgomg i LOOOOOVE law school!!!

ok. don't tell anyone, bc clearly that is WAYYYYYYY too nerdy to even be real.

but, since i have to get back to my reading, i'll leave you with a bunch of pictures of HOW MUCH i love law school =)

my note-taking method. this was for Legal Methods - now over =(

what a newb. compare it with the note below ...

clearly my style has matured in those 12 days.

procedural history of ONE case. pretty complicated. what can i say?

BALLAR.

an example of how beautiful rainbow hiliting can be

another one of the more procedurally complicated cases (and this is just the background info - not the "meat" of the case!)

isn't it beautiful???

btw. did i mention my professor was Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's daughter? AND she had a cocktail party for us on the last day of class at her BALLER apt? With little waiter-y people and catered food and an open bar and everything? AND a coat check? AND here's the best part -- SO MANY OLD LEATHER BOUND BOOKS!!!

next up: foods i've made myself =)

Stare decisis

So tomorrow is already the third and last day of "law school" for me this week.

So far, I kindof really like it. Possibly even LOVE it. I want to answer questions in class but am still a bit too nervous to go ahead and raise my hand. Nonetheless, I'm definitely keeping track of my right answers and whether I know it better than the student who DOES get cold called on.

This cold call thing isn't so bad really. My Legal Methods prof is super nice and tries to guide people who don't know until they stumble upon the right answer.

Last night I got bored of studying and took a break by looking up "kitchen table chairs" less than $70 in New York City on craigslist.

So today we have a new kitchen set!!! I feel like a grown up!!! Our apartment is slowly coming together (I got a longer shower curtain, more kitchen accessories, including a dish drying rack thing, etc.).

Anyway, I was hilighting cases (part of my hw) today when I realized that I actually am starting to "GET" what these cases are about!!! YAYY!!!!

Then, here comes the nerdy part, I feel nerdily smart when I take notes like "saying facts are diff. so NO stare decisis" in the margin. HAHAHAHA.

I can tell, I'm going to like briefing cases and outlining. This is the kindof thing I would do for fun on weekendnights at Duke. Just kidding. Okay, well, I'm not REALLY kidding. Maybe. Sometimes.

School is awesome. I'm so excited.

And yes, they've broken me. Already. I haven't carried a backpack to class since 1998. At least. I was TOO COOL for backpacks. I went from messenger bags (9th to 11th grade) and then to my Longchamp (12th grade) and have never gone back. Until today. Wow, these casebooks are HEAVY. So, yea I brought my NorthFace to class today. For tomorrow though, I've packed up my handy dandy brand new "COLUMBIA LAW SChOOL" backpack courtesy of CLS. W00T!!! (just upped my nerd factor with that!)

Leaving the city tomorrow right after class for a doctor's appointment in Piscataway, NJ. Then golf Saturday afternoon with the family (haha, seeeeeeester). May or may not come back Saturday night. We'll see. =)

I love being so close to home. My throat started hurting yesterday so I took some Nyquil and went to bed. It's still not better today so I called my mom and bought some Airborne. My parents and sister were eating dinner in PalPark so they offered to buy some 죽 (porridge) and bring it to me. AND THEY DID. And they brought lemons for some lemon tea and my dad brought a bag of tools, in case I needed anything to be fixed or whatnot. Yayy!!! Then they took my laundry home with them.

I love being 30 minutes away from home. xD

Yayy for law school and YAYY for being close to home!!!

FINALLY!!!

I SIGNED UP FOR SHOEBOXED'S MAIL-IN RECEIPTS!!!

okay, maybe no one else is as excited as i am!!! But i LOOOOOVE shoeboxed.com.


and i LOOOOOVE organizing my receipts!!!


I've been collecting my receipts in (surprise surprise) a SHOEBOX since 7th grade (1997) i think.

I dunno why. okay, actually, my original reason for hoarding receipts was JUST in case i was the suspect in some crime, i could provide a SOLID alibi with the date/time on the receipt. CLEARLY if i was busy shopping, i couldn't have committed a crime, right?

I was big on nancy drew and ghostwriter and stuff. i can admit it. i wanted to BE PREPARED.

but since then, it's just become more of an obsessive habit. ykno, so i could always ... i dunno, reflect on my spending and evaluate my life? and then in college after going negative in the bank account numbers within the first few months, my mom told me to keep track of ALL my spending and record it every month. so in order to do that, i had to hang on to my receipts. so all in all, i just have a million receipts, and once in a while go through and record, tally, and organize ALL of them.

anyway, a few years ago, a friend of mine from college, Taylor, started this online receipt organization thing.
(please check out THIS WEBSITE for press and THIS ONE for more info).

i didn't get it at first, and then i realized he was doing one of my FAVORITE things but on the INTERNET and neater and it was AWESOME. TRUST me when i first opened my SHOEBOXED account, this was ALL i did all day. it's actually almost as bad as facebook, (for me at least!).

so i've had these BOXES of receipts in my closet for YEARS right? one for 1997 to 2004. another for EUROPE. another for COLLEGE. and a new one for KOREA.

at first, it was only ONLINE receipts. but gradually they brought in PAPER receipts. ACTUAL paper receipts. they were scanned and the info put online so i could SEE all my spending summarized for me on the screen. UNFORTUNATELY at the beginning of their beta testing for that service i was in KOREA and couldn't participate. DARN KOREA!!!!

but NOWWW that i'm back in the states, i've been dying to jump on this boat and sign up for mail-in receipts. and i JUST did. and omg i'm SOOOO psyched you have no idea. i LOVE seeing all my spending broken down. YIPPEEEE!!!!

can't wait to start mailing in receipts. and don't worry. i'll def have to call about what to do with my 10+ year backlog of shoeboxed receipts. =)

CLASS SCHEDULE!!!

Today was the first day of orientation. We got our class schedules. I have my schedule for August's Legal Methods and Legal Practice Workshop classes until 8/29.

ANNNND check out my schedule for the fall semester. NO FRIDAY CLASSES!!! YAYYY!!!!!!

shot down.

Apparently, 'round these parts: BOYFRIEND = RESPECT.

At least in my house. Which was never the case before. At least not that I ever noticed.

But please, 2 recent convos from my home:

(pick up lil sister - first time i'm seeing her since february)
lilsis: HI UNNI!!!!
me: HI!!!!
lilsis: so, do you have a boyfriend YET???
me: .... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YET!??!?!

complaining about my sister's stench:
me: yo, mommy. doesn't jiyun always smell like drool and sweat?
mommy: yea, well at least she still has a boyfriend
lilsis: LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY
me: ... (SHOT DOWN) ...

new goal in life.

eat one of these:



it's called a MAID RITE and apparently it consists of....

iowan: maid rite is a bun with loose ground beef on it
iowan: no sauce i think
iowan: maybe pickles?
iowan: i've never had it
me: blech
iowan: bucolic popularity though
iowan: tenderloin is big too
me: ic
iowan: i think it's like a pounded deep fried piece of pork like a foot across on a bun 5 inches across
me: omg gross
iowan: http://www.allenbukoff.com/wildBPTiowa03/05Aug03JoensysSolon.jpg
iowan: i don't think the mustard or onions are traditional

in other news, i had a dream last night that included barack obama, raybaik, and costco. also my coteachers in korea.

so i was in costco buying groceries and i see barack obama in one of the aisles and i'm like OMG SENATOR OBAMA!!! and we like shake hands and chitchat and somehow it turns into i'm sitting in on one of his interviews and at the end i ask if we can take a picture together and raybaik appears out of nowhere to lend obama a better tie, and ray ties the tie for him, and then takes our picture!!! and when i exit the costco it appears that i was buying gifts to take home to america (go figure...) and i had to say goodbye to all my coteachers and principal and everyone AGAIN. ANNNND they were all madly bitter that i was returning to america!!!

anyway, i'm not MUCH of a barack fan. altho i guess i'm a bigger fan of him than i am of mccain based solely on looks. but mccain's ketchup wife is the hottest of them all. anyways, i made myself dinner tonight, yayy!!!

going home to play golf tomorrow and staying overnight to play with the baby seeeeester. back to nyc on sunday and OFFICIAL orientation starts monday. class starts wednesday. then one week until one of my favoritest college friends visits!!! YAYY!!!!!

=/

Growing up is hard.

What we like to call a SSSHHHHEDule.

I've played 36 holes of golf in the past 4 days. And it feels pretty good. Hopefully 1L won't kill me and I'll make it out for at least 1 round every weekend with my parents. (Anyone else in the area up to play with me?)

I know I've promised posts, and I'll be more regular when school starts and I need to procrastinate my life again, I'm sure.

In the meantime:

7/30 Bank. Costco run. Pack.
7/31 Lunch with ladies. Pack.
8/1 Sign rent papers. Move. Put together furniture with strong handsome men and Ashley.
8/2-3 Figure out my life in NY. Buy groceries.
8/4 18 holes.
8/5-6 Beach house.
8/7 Back to NYC. UN tour and happy hour with CLS folk.
8/8-9 Freak out about not being ready for 1L.
8/9 Sister comes home!!!
8/10 Yankees game, Staten Island. Courtesy of CLS.
8/11-12 Orientation.
8/13 Beginning of Legal Methods and "Camp Law School."

It's been a crazy 4 weeks.

It's all so close.

Another list.

so this isn't new content per se.

but i was going through my xanga, and it's actually been quite enlightening to read through my past and see what/how i was feeling in college (haven't gotten to high school entries yet...). there were a good deal of photo entries and funny/ridiculous/weirdo/random public entries, and also the private entries made me think twice, too.

anyway, here's a list i found that i had written:

10 things i ABSOLUTELY love doing:
1. buying stuff - not jus clothes, but like ANYTHING (ask jiyun about the pink "foot"notes)
2. eating/baking/cooking from scratch, i like going grocery shopping and stuff
3. being petted, having my hair touched
4. crossing off stuff on my "to-do" lists
5. smiling and laughing
6. winning at life
7. yoga/skiing/wrestling/racing!!!
8. lying out in the sun (like a cat! or a gecko! or a turtle!)
9. being taller/thinner than random ppl on the street
10. being the golden child

it's a pretty good list in my opinion (in the sense that i really nailed 10 of my favorite things to do) considering it was written almost 3 years ago and i would say that it's pretty much unchanged. i would add SWIMMING to #7 and replace "racing" with "running". but all in all that's it.

i always think it's good to reflect on your past/life and sometimes an old journal/blog is the right way to do it. i'm always surprised at both how repetitive my thoughts are and the new insights i gained and then lost. there are also a few themes that show up over and over again. and other little surprises that i didn't remember until reading my own words jogged my memory. and there's always that elusive "you" that i address some of my entries to. sometimes i remember exactly who "you" was supposed to be and i smile, or laugh, or cringe, or feel embarrassed. haha.

Accomplished, Week 1:

Or, Things I've done so far:
Drank skim milk every morning!
Eaten superfresh and superfab sushi.
Gone to the mall (2x!).
Driven.
Gone to Whole Foods.
Gone grocery shopping.
Pumped gas.
Gone on a road trip (Niagara Falls!).
Gotten a new cell phone and number.
Called all my favorites for phone chats.
Eaten a turkey burger (yum!).
Eaten ravioli.
Been surrounded by guidos.
Eaten lunch in Bryant Park, NY (home of Fashion Week).
Opened new checking AND savings accounts.
Opened a new credit card.
Unpacked and put away all my Korea stuff.
Fallen asleep watching Food Network.
Worn my new suit.
Worn short shorts!
Flirted shamelessly.
Ogled and been ogled.
Showered with a curtain/door (no water on the floor!).
Been tempted to buy a million flavors of jelly (because I can!) but settled on my favorite strawberry.
Drank Mango Madness, Pomegranate Lemonade, Vitamin Water, and DASANI.
Been drinking my 8+ glasses of water a day!

Things yet to be done:
Get my haircut/permed.
See my sister/Visit Boston.
Go to DC/see my college friends.
Clean out my closet.
Pack for CLS.
Change my move-in date.
Go to my doctor/dermatologist.
Look at/buy furniture for my new apartment.
Go to Target.
Cook a meal.
Find my diamond necklace from graduation that I hid a little TOO well in a REALLY REALLY safe place before going to Korea...

Apologies.

For the lack of updates.

Been crazy busy. And happy.

My condolences to those of you still in the motherland.

Will be in DC for a week starting Friday.

Will try to post/schedule some entries before I leave.

The end.

I really felt it. For the first time since I've already known it in my head, I really felt that I'm leaving.

After closing one bank account, and sitting at the next, as the woman across the counter from me was stamping her forms and giving me papers to sign, and I realized I had muchos DOLLARS and no WON anymore, I finally felt that I was going home, going to leave Korea, and going to America.

Isn't that crazy? After all my countdowns and packing and saying goodbye, all it took was some money, and I really felt like I was finally leaving.

On another note, was American money always this LONG? It seems fake to me...
Hoooommm...

Thank you. School edition.

(And, yes, I wrote it all by myself. It was edited by my mom, old korean school principal (he's now in Cheongju), and my favorite coteacher).

남성 초등학교 가족 여러분~

떠나는 날이 다가와 마음이 조금 슬퍼지네요.

제가 글씨를 워낙 못써서 컴퓨터로 이 편지를 쓰지만, 손으로 쓴 글씨와 마찬가지로 마음을 담아 쓴다고 믿어주세요.

일년 동안 남성 초등학교에서 지내니, 행복했던 시간들, 약간은 힘들고 어려운 시간들이 꽤 많았네요.

제가 못 알아 보는 선생님들도 청주 시내나 학교 밖에서도 저를 알아보고 인사 해 주셔서 고마웠어요. 우리 나라 이지만 낯선 나라에 와서 혼자있는데, 알아 봐 주는 사람들이 있어서 외롭고 힘겨운 시간들을 따뜻하게 보낼 수 있었어요.

제가 까다롭게 급식소에서 이것 저것 안 먹겠다고 해도 다 이해 해 주셔서 감사했습니다. 제가 체험을 하러 왔는데 너무나 제가 편리한 대로 살았지요?

제가 도움이 필요할 때마다, 그때그때 도움을 준 분들께도 모두 다 너무 너무고맙습니다. 교무실에서 복사하는것 코팅하는것, 다 도와주신 혜정언니. 말은 많이 안 나누었지만, 저를 말없이 많이 도와주셔서 고마웠어요.

홍기성 선생님, 제가 한글로 깔린 컴퓨터 잘 못쓰고 제가 쓰는 Mac 컴퓨터도 학교에서 잘 안되고, 많이 불편하셨죠? 제가 컴퓨터 없이 수업을 못하니, 저 때문에 교실에서 애 많이쓰셨습니다. 제 수업들이 잘 진행 될 수 있었던것도 선생님 덕분이에요.

행정실에 있는 모든분 그리고 기사님들, 제가 알게 모르게 많이 도와주신것 감사합니다. 제가 교실의 불편한 점을 이야기 할때 마다 그때그때 고쳐주시고 해결해 주셔서 감사합니다.

저하고 같이 협력 수업하신 1, 2학년 선생님들, 너무 고마워요. 저하고 workshop하실때 많이 불편하고 답답하셨죠? 안 통할때도 많았지만 제 의견을 꼭 들어주시고, 수업 준비를 도와주셔서 고마워요. 교실에서도, 밖에서도요, 선생님들께서 저를 챙겨주시는 마음을 많이 느꼈어요. 수고많이 하셨습니다.

영어전담 선생님들, 김선혜부장선생님, 서현주선생님, 손민희선생님, 저때문에 많이 힘들으셨죠? 매일 무엇이 필요한지, 불편하지 않은지, 점심은 먹었는지 챙겨 주셔서 고마워요. 선생님들 없이는 정말 남성초등학교에서 무엇을 어떻게 해야 하는지 아무것도 몰랐을거예요. 일년 동안 꾸준히 잘 보살펴 주셔서 감사합니다.

그리고 교장, 교감선생님, 저를 예뻐해 주시고 항상 너그럽게 대해 주셔서 감사합니다. 제가 매일 인사를 드렸어야 하는데…

아침에 원래 잘 못 일어나는데다가 계속 몸이 안 좋아서 조금 게을렀습니다. 인사를 꼬박 꼬박 못 드려서 죄송한 마음으로 늘 수업에 최선을 다 할려고 열심히 노력했습니다.

이제 정이들고, 적응도 왠만큼 되고 하니까 가야하는 것이 아쉽습니다. 제가 일년이란 시간속에 좋은 추억과 경험을 할 수 있도록 기회를 주셔서 감사했습니다. 제가 앞으로 어느 곳에 있던지, 무엇을 하던지 남성초등학교에서 체험했던 좋은 추억과 경험을 잊지 않고 살아가겠습니다.

일년동안 저와 함께한 모든 분들께 다시 한번 감사의 마음을 전하며

남성초 모든 직원과 학생들을 위하여!!!

Waterworks.

yea, that's pretty much my nickname. Always.

I don't mean to cry. But I've always been somewhat of a crier. Movies, books, TV shows, even commercials. Actually, even songs and national anthems. Sometimes an audience clapping is all it takes. And I start crying.

This time it started on Tuesday. And it was totally unexpected.

But here I am crying again.

Tuesday: Saying my final goodbye to that first class of the week and I started welling up. We took a class picture and I thought I would burst, but I held them back. THEN, out of nowhere, one of the girls comes back to my classroom, manages a "Teacher, I love you!" and then bursts into tears. At which I can't help but start crying also. Did I mention? Other people crying is usually enough to set me off.

Every class after her, I cried a little as they left. I could usually hold it in until they waved their final goodbyes and headed down the stairs, but as soon as I turned back to my empty classroom I no longer had to beam that smile. I felt the realization that I will most likely NEVER see these kids again. And then the tears would come.

Last night was our final hweshik with all the teachers I taught with and the VP and principal and out tech teacher who is in love with me. It was wonderful. I managed not to cry during dinner or at the cafe afterwards. But when I got home and unwrapped the album and earrings they got me, I couldn't help it. Despite all my complaints and whining, I've developed some 정 for these people. The people who kept me afloat during my year abroad.

One of the 2nd grade classes (the worst one, the one that I yelled at 3x on their first day and I wrote about it HERE) wrote me goodbye letters. And although most of them are the same bland "Thank you, we'll miss you, please don't go, I learned a lot of English thanks to you" format, a few were really wonderful and surprising. There were students who I thought never paid attention but then wrote me full-page letters talking about how I made English fun for them. There was one who even thanked me for teaching them so exuberantly to the point of sweating. And another girl who wrote that she would miss me but how happy I must be to be going home. They surprised me with their depth and compassion.

And now I just received a fresh batch of letters from my first 1st grade class. It's not the same, as I've only taught these kids for 2 and a half months, and I've been with my 2nd graders since I first got here in July. But wow, the thought these kids have given me, is so touching and I'm so lucky to have been here.

Geography of thought.

The Geography of Thought : How Asians and Westerners Think Differently...and Why by Richard Nisbett


I bought this book in Seoul in January. I hoped it would do several things for me:

a) I hoped it would quench my thirst for some of the research-based non-fiction books I had to read so many of during undergrad as a social science major.
b) I hoped it would help me make sense of the craziness I perceived as going on all around me here in Korea.
c) I hoped it would explain some of why I sometimes felt SO American and sometimes SO Korean and sometimes SO neither and both at the same time.

Here is a quote that jumped out at me:

While a special occasion for the ancient Greek might mean attendance at plays and poetry readings, a special occasion for the Chinese of the same period would be an opportunity to visit with friends and family.

Yes, and wow. This jumped out mostly because it described my own confusing and complex internal struggle. While not always, a special occasion, every weekend I was confronted by this choice: visit my family or travel/do something cultural?

Be filially pious (pietous?) and visit my family? One kind of special occasion. Or be independent and add to my experiences by doing something more cultural and intellectually stimulating? Another kind of special occasion.

My dad always pushed for me to spend time with my family (his family) while my mom pushed for me to do what I wanted. Thus fulfilling their stereotyped roles as traditional, ironfisted father and liberal, self-improving mother.

This next quote further got me thinking:

Philosopher Henry Rosemont has written: “… for the early Confucians, there can be no me in isolation, to be considered abstractly: I am the totality of roles I live in relation to specific others...taken collectively, they weave, for each of us, a unique pattern of personal identity, such that if some of my roles change, the others will of necessity change also, literally making me a different person.

The "Western" way IS, in fact, so much more about individualism and the self. Whereas, clearly, the "Eastern" way is more about the self in relation to others. ALWAYS in relation to others.

Of course ancient Greeks chose self-improvement in the form of music, plays, or other classically intellectual endeavors in their spare time. In a culture where the self is the most important entity, any improvement to the self, especially in terms of being cultured is an improvement to the most important thing in the society.

In the East, where the self does not exist without others, this relationship is seen and treated literally and metaphorically. Literally in terms, of family ties and bonds and blood relationships.

*Literal example: Without my parents, I would not exist. And without my grandparents, my parents would not exist. And thus without (ever-increasing web of) these people I would not be.
*Metaphoric example: The concept of "me/self/I" does not exist outside of my relationships to others. I am Youn's daughter, Jessica's sister, Namsung's English teacher, Ashley's friend, etc. etc. etc. WIthout these relationships/definitions, I am NOTHING.

Coming from THIS particular understanding of the self, clearly it makes sense to always foster and nurture these bonds and relationships, THUS strengthening the self. Strong relationships = strong definition of self.

The book was a bit cheesy and overgeneralized certain things, but in general it was an interesting take on the confusion that is my life. A confusion that has only increased and been in constant tumult since my sojourn to this country of my forefathers (and foremothers - let's not be sexist here). I have often experienced conflict over simple decisions for my friends - conflicted by my ideas of superiority of self (sometimes it's ok to be selfish) and my inbred need to please others and create social harmony (never being able to say "no).

Being in Korea, only confused me all the more. It both challenged and strengthened the Western "ME" parts of me and the Eastern "US" parts of me/us. You can imagine this internal struggle/battle of wills and crazy snippets of voices of advice and random mutterings from my family, friends, society, media, Confucius, Aristotle, etc. that was CONSTANTLY running through my head. ON top of all that, there was the INTERNAL part that's like, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, I'M AN AMERICAN AND I DO THINGS MY WAY some days, and other days it's like, I CARE WHAT ALL OF YOU SAY AND I'VE GOTTA JUST SAY YES AND DO WHAT MAKES EVERYONE HAPPY (increase overall utility - that was also kindof the econ/pps nerd part of me, in addition to the Korean and American parts).

I could totally branch out at this point about how the "Asian" perspective helped me understand why Koreans are the way they are. But I think I might've already beaten that topic to death. And back. 

So I'll end with how this both enlightened and further confused me. It helped me (us?) understand the two separate camps (usually just two) in my head reasoning opposite arguments for the same cause (strengthen self for self and strengthen community/family for self). And it helped me understand why this place, this country, and these people brought these issues that had only been simmering and occasionally spilling over in America to a boil in Korea.

Western thinking:


+PLUS+

Eastern thinking:


=EQUALS=

Smellcome to Korea.

Kimchi, Korea's flagship traditional food

“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” ~Rudyard Kipling

But really, do I want to? Korea has a special smell (in most places) that I think even NYC has a hard time rivaling. In addition to the urine and human waste, there's of course, all the fermentation going on, all the waste of fermented food, and the cooking of fermented foods, and I don't know what else, but Korea has a strange smell. And actually, I think maybe Kipling was right. After smelling Korea, you get it. It's weird, strong, and stubbornly won't leave you alone.

Dwen-jang (soybean paste)


Inside the box: smells exactly like you think it would but worse

1 full year.

and like i always say, life comes full circle.

I arrived in Korea at dawn on June 16th, 2007 where I was promptly shuttled to my Ansan family's place for some down time (and a long long nap).

So I guess it makes sense that I spent all of June 15th, 2008 in Ansan with them again. (Also involving a pretty long nap).

And although I don't have any other deep insight or anything to mark the full 365-day year, I will say this.

On that morning a year ago, as I sat in their 거실 (a space in Korean homes equivalent purpose to an American living room), I couldn't get over how SMALL their house was. And this past Sunday when I sat there with my family, I kept wondering if they had somehow expanded their house, because it now seemed pretty BIG (I guess now I measure by Korean standards). I was like, "Wow, I remember their house being so small and now that I'm actually here it's so spacey....".

So, yea. A year can and does change a person's perspective.

Like I always say, life is always relative.

water off my back. (or is it oil?)

So, the zoo/circus is finally coming to an end. Both my time here in Korea, and this final presentation of the year's experimental teaching.

Let me explain. The school I was sent to, and one of the reason's I was sent, was that they were one of three participating schools in our province in this experiment into coteaching with a native English speaker for 1st and 2nd grades. So now at the end of a year they chose one school to host the presenting of the results. And it's us.

The class went over pretty well. There were a few things I would've changed but not much. But it's the aftermath that's starting to piss me off. I know I should let it roll off my back. And I will. Because I'm leaving and nothing I say or think is going to change anything here. And like my mom said, the angrier I get and the more frustrated I get with the system here and try to vent it, it's really just throwing eggs at a mountain. Fruitless and useless.

I could so NOT live here, or at least I would really have to change to live here for a long time. There's just so much that Koreans say and do that annoy me.

*For example, the man who assumes that I speak no Korean and talks about how useless he thinks native speaking teachers are whilst in my classroom.

*The other man who is going through my cabinets and when I ask politely if he's looking for something, he anwers: No, I just want to see what materials you use. (AND I WANT TO SCREAM, WELL THEN ASK ME IF YOU CAN SEE THEM AND DON'T GO THROUGH MY CABINETS, YOU RUDE DONKEY!!)

*The lecturing by Koreans who "know everything" and yet clearly I don't understand how they can be failing so badly at teaching English if they "know everything"

*The man who tells me I should've used magnetic boards instead of velcro on my bulletin boards. (since he knows how I use them and what works in my classroom and how much money I'm allotted to furnish my classroom)

Anyway, I know the English teachers are busy, but I'm just sitting in my classroom and there are two annoying Koreans here discussing the status of English education and what has to change, and I'm wondering if I can leave, if I should lock up before I go, if I should tell them to get out, or what I should be doing. I would normally just leave it all open and go home, but I don't want them going through my desk and personal stuff. Rude monkeys.

BUUUUUUUT I DON'T CAAAAAARE!!!! BECAUSE I'M LEEEEEEAVING!!! I'M GOING HOOOOOME!!! hehe. and THAT's why it'll be water off my back. (or oil). =)

My big fat Korean wedding.

will not have any Koreans invited to it.

haha. I was so worried and sad that I might go the whole year without being invited to a Korean wedding. (Well, technically, I was invited to my VP's son's wedding but pretended I hadn't heard about it so I could have a free weekend...). BUUUUUT this weekend I impromptu-ly attended a Korean wedding of some not-so-distant relative.

The groom is my dad's 매형's 고모's dead daughter's living son. Or something like that. I was told we were going to the Incheon beach area for the day. So I was wearing my Rainbows, white shorts, and a navy polo shirt. Haha. My family said it was okay because I'm an American. We were going to pick up my Ansan family and go to the beach but then we were all reminded/invited to the wedding last minute and so we went.

It was interesting. Well, it was short and to the point. Very Korean. Although I was APPALLED at how much people were talking during the "ceremony". Maybe it was just the Jindo people who were bussed up (two full charter buses!!!) and the Chinese folks on the other side (bride is a Chinese gyopo), but it was like, we weren't even at a wedding. We were just sitting around at a bar catching up with old friends and other people we hadn't seen in a long time. Then they cut the cake and the MC (wft?) made the bride and groom do a bunch of shenanigans. Also, the random wedding helper people that worked at the hotel, were so... well, random. They held up swords for the bride and groom to walk under, shot ribbons out of trombones at them, and helped their mothers light candles, and some other stuff. 

I would think that half the point of my wedding would be the bridal party!!! I can't imagine a wedding sans bridal party! AND after the ceremony everyone goes down to eat and then leaves. It's more about the food than about the bride and groom. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE BRIDE!!! American weddings are SO about the bride!!! Geez, what a let down. Now I understand why when people at our church get married they try to find a way to trap their guests (i.e. have the reception on a boat). Because Koreans eat and run. That's what they do.

I'm going to have to rethink how many Koreans (old school ones) are going to be invited to my wedding. I promised my parents their friends could come ... but now I'm a bit worried, maybe I'll send a wedding etiquette brochure with my invites. 

A. Do not talk during the ceremony

B. Do not bring babies, children, or other guests whose names are NOT on the invites

C. Do not take pictures of yourself and/with people around you during my ceremony

D. Do not pilfer food from other people's tables

E. I'm sure there were more

On the whole, it was an interesting experience. I'm glad it happened. Now I'll know what to expect and have to figure out ways to curtail such behavior at my wedding (and if it means NO Koreans, so be it).

Luckily (or not?), I won't have to worry about this stuff for a loooooong time I think. Marriage is not looming in my near future.