Thursday, November 29, 2007



i'm sorry. it's the most stressful thing ever. and altho there were parts i LOVED. mostly there were parts that were ok. and overall, it's one of those things where i'm like, hmm OK experience, glad i had it (ok, "glad" is a stretch) but NEVER AGAIN. PLEASE.

The kids, as a whole, were great. it's nice to know students from other grades. it makes the school a less lonely, and more friendly place. walking around the buildling or schoolgrounds and recognizing students taller than my knees is nice.

but also, i don't want to know any more. i'm pretty happy with the current group. first of all, the kids (as a group) are horrible at english. and i get 3 days with them. so 3 days of "fun" english with kids who can't speak my language. and the teachers haven't said anything yet, but i can see in their faces, are not pleased when i speak korean to the kids. but they are so freaking terrified when i speak english. and korean serves multiple purposes. 1. it breaks the ice, the kids are more comfortable. 2. my errors make them laugh and they feel more comfortable making english errors. 3. THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DO.

next, i get a new group every week and a new grade every 2 weeks. they are all such different levels (and soetimes HUGELY different levels WITHIN groups). and i never know what to expect. and the coteachers are NO help. i asked about the first couple groups "what level can i expect? what level should i plan for?" the response: oh a little above average. .... what is average??? they look at the roster and say, "oh a little above average". ... like that's supposed to mean something to me. so basically these aren't the really good kids who can afford the supergood hakwons, and they're not the braindead kids who sleep during english class. ok great.

next, they CLAIMED i'd only have to make 2 sets of lesson plans. one for 5-6 and one for 3-4. yea ok. i made one per grade, and usually a huuuuuuuge revision between each grade's 2 weeks, so, yea i've made NOT 4, but 8, that's right EIGHT brand new lesson plans, for english levels that i'm never sure of.

i HATE english camp. not the kids. not really. (a few i dislike, bc they are here and don't really care, but that's more the parents i dislike not the kids' fault).

PLEASE, GOD. NO MORE ENGLISH CAMP. SORRY, next year's students. BUT I JUST DON'T WANT TO. Nay, I JUST CAN'T. If they ask me, I will be all D.A.R.E.-esque and JUST SAY NO.

maybe i am really selfish and cynical. maybe i'm negative for thinking that these 3 days are so pointless and a waste of my time and definitely my energy. i could SLEEP and write novels and save the world instead of stress over lesson plans that no one understands anyway. maybe 3 days is not enough to improve students' english skills but just to whet their appetite for english. to get them more interested and liking english. well, whoop-dee-doo i can't say i really care. (i know, this is horrible - i'm a horrible english speaker and an even worse english TEACHER). but ... the amount of effort that IIIII have to put into this endeavor ... is not worth a FEW kids PERHAPS becoming a LITTLE TEENSY bit more interested in english than their overzealous parents are making them be. i KNOW i should be all like "stand and deliver" and BELIEVE in the positive impact i'm having, but i really doubt that cranky overworked me is ANY kind of inspirational. ESP if i am not wanting to be there. like i've said before, i'm pretty freaking transparent and horrible at faking. so these kids can TELL if i'm not enjoying myself. and it's REALLY hard for me to NOT enjoy being around kids ... so yea...

Q.E.D. I should not do any more English Camp.

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