Friday, January 11, 2008

falling behind (I LOVE BOOKS)

so i feel totally behind on my blog entries. not because i don't think i update enough (which all of you tired readers must think i surely do!) but because i have so many thoughts that this cannot possibly keep up. this is one of the cons of living kinda isolated from a supportive and ever-present (omnipresent?) group of my peers/family/friends. i have more thoughts inside my head that never get uttered bc i don't always have an audience.

if you know me well enough to care enough to read my blog (or are really just that bored, haha) you should also know that i am a nonstop talker. the thoughts just keep on coming... but since i don't have my trusty friends/classmates/mom on hand(on the phone) all the time like i'm used to having for the past 4 years (college), the thoughts just keep getting mixed up inside my face and then i have all these half-written ridiculous drafts of posts. as i write this i think i have 20 posts in draft-mode.

well, un-needless to say, i will probably be falling even more behind in the coming weeks/month. and this is why: i GOTS BOOKS!!!

ok, here comes my big nerdy confession: I LOVE BOOKS. I LOVE READING. I LOVE BOOKS AND READING MORE THAN I LIKE FOOD AND SLEEPING. I love books and reading even more than i love shopping.

me, on a weekendnight senior year spring semester (reading...for fun)

evidence for these statements runs aplenty. when i'm in the middle of a good read, i'll cancel all other plans - to meet people, to see people, to eat, to sleep, to shower even. if the book gets boring i usually grab a granola bar or a banana and continue reading. at SOME point in my relationships with most of my friends, if i've suddenly cancelled on you or pushed back meeting you because i was "sick/tired/just have too much work" ... at one point at LEAST i was lying. i reneged because i was at a really good point in a really good book and i couldn't stop. and i'm not even a good liar... if i TEXTED you that i was sick/tired ... that was probably when i cancelled due to book-ing. it's an illness, people, it really is.

if you think i'm a compulsive clothes/shoes shopper, wait til you see my record with books. at home, we have a WALL from ceiling to floor from one end of the room to the other FILLED with books. and it's AFTER i gave away half of my books during our move to the new house after high school. and i still have stashes of books in my room and my sister's room (not to mention my dorm room-or apt. right now). for my last birthday, my wishlist was ALL books. in korea, despite vowing to not buy books bc they're heavy to ship home and keep me cooped up in my room instead of out and about travelling this country, i've bought .. well, too many books for the vow to have worked. i currently have a stack of books (ok, 9) that i have yet to finish, and somehow that never stops me from buying more. i've TRIED the "i don't need to buy books until i've finished all the ones i have" line and somehow that is NEVER a good enough reason to NOT buy more books.

this past week i was in seoul with less than $4 in cash to my name and somehow i was faced with 3 books i wanted ... (ok more but i had to compromise) ... and i KNEW i was getting a box of books from home ... and i KNEW i had to buy lunch ... but i bought the books instead. i thought to myself, "what is more important: food or books?" and somehow the books were on the counter and i had whipped out my credit card...

and NOW i finally let myself open my box from home (only AFTER i cleaned up my room) and i am OVERJOYED at how many new books i have to read!!! 12 new ones!!! so now i have 9 (original) + 3 (seoul) + 12 (home) = 24 new books!!! i'm so psyched!!! it's an illness really. a disease. an addiction. you REALLY have to drag me out when i'm in the middle of something i can't put down.

this is why my insomnia will never really be fixed i think. people are always like, oh read a book it always puts me to sleep. yea, that NEVER works for me. even when i pull out a book i think is boring ... i end up reading it until like 7 am when the daylight under my curtains catches my attention and i take a 2 hour nap before waking up at 9 for class or work. and then the whole time in class or at work the only thing i can think about is how soon i can get back to finishing that book. i'm gonna have to work out a schedule for reading ... because i have too much to be doing and seeing in these next few months ... and sometimes it's time to find a fix for our addictions.

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