Friday, March 28, 2008

i'm ruuuuuuined!!!

ok, so good news first: i have my appetite back.
the consequent bad news: my stomach will join it.

thats right, my huge floppy GUT. "oh don't be silly" you're thinking. "christine you don't have a big floppy gut. stop being so dramatic." i admit. i usually am a bit dramatic on how "fat" i currently am. reasons being: i'm 5'6" and usually a size 2-4, waist of 27-28". sometimes i make it all the way up to a size 6 and i have 2 pairs of 29" pants. those are my "fat clothes". luckily i haven't needed them in while. (yes im a total baby about gaining weight ... i dunno i have crazy fears of morbid obesity and diabetes and high blood pressure and the like).

and YET, you have NO idea of the havoc that my size 4 stomach can wreak on my silhouette. and so, i invite you, my friends (and creepy strangers), to please observe the following phenomenon of the wonders of the human digestive system/GI tract:

how does the following picture, exhibit A, turn into the next picture, exhibit B?

exhibit B: THIS is me. YUP. this is me. NO, not during the 2nd trimester of my secret pregnancy. tis only after a particularly wonderful dinner in january 07 (please note, i have that old man condition where my fat is too big for my pants so my pants slide down underneath the bulge)

WHY? you may ask. HOW? is such a feat possible. i couldn't have asked a better question myself. see this 3 tier steamer?

it worked DOUBLE, nay, TRIPLE duty (actually it might've taken 4x total) to produce this.... (timex 4 or 5. it was many more plates total-but we ate in shifts)

resulting in....

YUP. that's an empty box. we 4 (pretty much we 3 because mommy eats so little) ate the ENTIRE box of king crab legs (from russian waters!), a bottle of wine, and topped it off with some clementines.

and so, yes, i'm a LITTLE bit worried my appetite's back. ALSO, i FINALLY FINALLY entered the paris baguette that is RIGHT in between my bus stop and my apartment building this past tuesday. why did it take so long you may wonder? good question. PRECISELY because of all the reasons it should and should NOT happen. confused? don't be.

it SHOULD have happened because i LOVE pastries. i LOVE bread. i'm a carb fiend. i LOVE paris baguette. it is my favorite BAKERY in korea (not to be confused with favorite CAFE=angel in us). maybe because we have them in NY and NJ so there's a bit of familiarity? i don't know. maybe i like the soft blue and orange combination the best? who knows but it is my favorite korean bakery chain. for these reasons it should NOT have happened.

now that the curse of unfamiliarity has been lifted, i can enter and purchase freely. you see, BEFORE i entered, it was *technically* unknown territory. it was alien land. but NOW, now that the firgin (first + virgin) foray has been completed, i am free to enter again. and again. and again. temptation called to me and i answered. i was walking back from the post office today (3 ppl are going to be happy when they open their mailboxes in 10 days!) and i could NOT ignore the calling of the paris baguette.

so what do i do? i postpone my run (indefinitely) and buy 3 mini puffs of happiness. well, actually 2 puffs of happiness and 1 puff of disappointment. i bought a mini cheese roll expecting a sweet ricotta cheese danish-like delicacy and NO it was like stinky salty savory cheese. blegh. but the two mini mixed berry and blueberry rolls were DEEEEEE-LISH.

Yup, good bye svelte figure. HELLOOOOOOO and welcome back, cornelius!!!
(FYI: cornelius is what i named my bubble of stomach fat way back in HS)

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