Tuesday, December 11, 2007

where are you, christmas?

my adorable ex-puppy (we gave him away) after a trip to the puppy salon before xmas in 05


3 pts if you get the reference

i nearly cried today in class. but first, i have no brain. lately i have been increasingly acting as though my brain were, in fact, missing and/or gone. i.e. i was trying to INSERT a videocassette by repeatedly hitting the EJECT button and wondering why nothing was happening. this happened for like 5 minutes.

anyway, i had yesterday (monday) off due to exams. somehow, i decided this morning when i turned off my alarm that TODAY was MONDAY and i didn't have class til 10. it WAS, in fact, TUESDAY, and i had class starting at 9. my 2nd grade teachers had a good laugh about that all day. they all entered my class giggling and asking me how my monday was? they are the best =) and when we went over the date, and i was like "TODAY IS TUESDAY" my favs 2-3 asked me, "really?" and winked.

anyway, back to nearly crying. since yesterday's 3 classes had no english this week is outside the textbook curriculum. today's classes got to make snowflakes and learn "jingle bells". as my kids are BELTING out "jingle bells jingle bells 징글어워요ㅛㅛㅛㅛ!!~" i start tearing up at how much of christmas i'm missing.

for example, "jingle all the way" the xmas classic starring the governator as that bad parent who is trying to get his kid that robot toy guy. the grinch on TNT! those animated xmas movies like rudolph, the one with the yeti, and the one with mr. snow and mr. sun!! ELF!!! (i THINK i brought that. i HOPE i did!). love actually! CHRISTMAS MOVIES!!! and altho xmas is STARTING to take hold in korea, the decorations and stuff are not as widespread as at home.

we did see a sign for *X-AMS* in a GS25 along with HAPPY HOLLYDAY!!! in homever. christmas is very different here. it just isn't the same. PEOPLE DONT BUY REAL TREES!!! altho i suspect this has more to do with korea's love for pine trees (and preserving them), i want that SMELL in my house! and since there is no tree, there is no place for multiple plentiful gifts to congregate!!! actually, it doesn't seem like my host fam is THAT into xmas in the materialistic sense that i love.

they have a token singing less than 3foot tall xmas tree with cotton balls the hostsis decorated. but no wreath or fireplace decorations (well, no fireplace at all) or stockings or anything. and it doesn't look like sending xmas cards is tHAT widespread here either. and the kids haven't even started discussing presents ... whereas i give my family the preliminary list around thanksgiving!!! and then it just grows from there!

admittedly i am a little kid who loves presents and toys and act of giving and receiving. still, i miss what this holiday means for me. it'll be kindof a lonely holiday, indeed. without my family gathered by our tree after xmas eve mass (and/or xmas morning depending on how patient i am) opening their presents, and then watching me open mine (i always get the mostest!!!). and then i miss my stupid adorable dog wallowing in all the paper and ribbon. chasing himself silly and snuffing about in our laps bc we're all ignoring him!

i miss watching hannah in the nutcracker. 딩굴ing all day with my sister and making her do xmas movie sleepovers with me. sitting in my kitchen watching our snow covered backyard and the little critters that visit. trips to the mall for presents. for me. haha. (my mom) driving in the snow. our fireplace and sweet potatoes roasting in there ALL day!!! making my parents watch movies with me and my sister jus bc i have nothing better to do during break =)

i miss christmas. this will be a tough year, in looking for the "christmas spirit" and what it REALLY should be. love and family and gratitude to be able to give and share with the people that i love most. being so far from everything familiar and comfortable to me is really making me appreciate what i have. and maybe that should be my xmas lesson for 07.

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