Thursday, October 18, 2007
one's way of thinking, a line of thinking (courtesy yahoo dictionary)
i've always heard this term, and i think it really applies to this quote:
"I don't just love you. I love the way you love me"~Gabrielle Solis in Desperate Housewives
it struck me how TRUE this is. not just whether or not someone LIKES you, but HOW they express that sentiment really matters. and i had only considered this in terms of romantic relationships. having the "like/love" feeling isn't enough, your "style"of caring and being cared for needs to match up somewhat also. there were def times in HS and college when the "liking" feelings were there but things didn't work out bc our "the way you love me" styles were so incompatible/incomprehensible to the other.
but i was on the phone with my mom for one and a half hours this morning and i realized, this is true of ANY loving relationship. my mom and i were talking and we argued/discussed a little and she knew EXACTLY what i needed to hear and if anything, that conversation just made me miss her all the more. i repeat, she knew EXACTLY what i needed to hear (even if i didn't want to hear it) and exactly what i needed (today it was a stick-ykno from the stick and the carrot?). so she doesn't just LOVE me, she knows the right WAY to love me. what i need and not just what i want (that would make me spoiled ... and i'm sooooo not.... haha coughahem)
so anyway back to the title of this post, one's 사고방식 determines their "way of loving" someone else. and so that's pretty important, your perspective or outlook on life. this frames all your relationships and dealings with ppl, etc. and so on. so i don't know that i really had a point, but more like, i had a realization/epiphany/dawning of sorts. i think this helps explain (and i'm HUUUUGE on explanations and reasons) why certain relationships thrive and others fail.
for example, what i consider my two most successful friendship/relationships, they work because i really like the way i am appreciated by those two friends. one of them i havent seen in around 4 years but is ALWAYS there for me and can always make me laugh and gives me the support i need and the jokes i deserve and in general is there for me in a no strings attached kind of way. he's always just in the wings, ready but completely undemanding. (dont worry its a 2way street, apparently i make him laugh, too) but yea, that was just one example, is the WAY that someone deals with you is SOOO important in how relationships (in the general sense) play out. you could really like a person's character/personality but NOT how they deal with others/people. like the AWESOME HILARIOUS friend who is ALWAYS late and you could just tear their eyeballs out. or ppl that you're like "oh yea i LOVE him but we could never date, he's too crass" i dont know - maybe that was a poor example, but you get the gist. anyway, im sleepy and off to kyeongju tomorrow. thinking about which hoodie to bring - my new "new york" one or my favorite jcrew one .. =) we'll see in the morning!!