Tuesday, October 23, 2007


a. i was rethinking, and i do NOT think i'm so mean just bc i am pretty exclusive with my friendships/time. its a smart use of resources. i "go big or go home" and as such, rather than putting a little of my resources in each "friendship" i put a LOT into a select few (betting big on a few rather than placing small bets on many). and altho it's possible to fail, i find that most of my bets pay off. i'm pretty icy cold to begin with (so i've heard) but once you get me going on the friendship path i'm an open book. so, i'm sorry if i come off uninterested or mean or something, it's not that i doN'T like you, it's just that i've put my resources somewhere else already. even in college, i had many acquaintances that i had amiable relations with, but really a select group i got super close with, and i've stopped being the social butterfly i was in high school ... and found that my new system works much better (for me and my personality, anyway).

b. i MISS: johnny rockets, pauly dogs, blue devil shakes from quenchers, my catalogues, wint's gossip magazines, the new yorker, going to barnes whenever i want, perusing the duke store, my mommy, my daddy, my sister, my dog rocky, my scarves/clothes/shoes/bags at home, leaving voicemails, speaking better english, being a korean in america, not standing out, not being stared at because of my language, running to/the waduke trail in the fall, wint laughing at my underarmor, running with wint (my penguin), my barearmed WM boys at the gym, running into ppl on campus, calling my mom whenever i want, calling my dad whenever i want, calling my sister whenever i want and getting yelled at for bothering her, txting ashley ridiculous thoughts/comments, american commercials/informercials

c. i AM: learning, changing, laughing, crying, missing, being missed, having aHA moments, exploring, being alone, journeying, resting, dying, staying the same, making new friends, keeping the old ones, writing, thinking, reflecting, trying to get faster, trying to be happy, happy, questioning, confirming, growing up, moving backwards, realizing, amassing, shedding, becoming korean, becoming more stubbornly american, widening my horizons, becoming a better friend, talking, discussing, freaking out, calming down, on the move, staying still, being.

d. i LOVE: (this is a cumulative list, i've been working on it for 2 years) my family, my friends, fountains, my feet, chocolate, shiny, breakfast foods, straight lines, daisies especially gerbera, smell of jasmine, smell of lilac, pens, stationery, office supplies, closets, organizers, lists, pink, new books, taking pictures and generally pictures of flowers, pirates, designer jeans, shoes, purses, lip gloss/chapstick, sunblock, sun, cookies, baking/cooking/hostessing, puzzles, light (vs. dark), niceties, puppies, black pumps, recipe books with pictures, pearls, pumpkin flavored stuff (ice cream, pie, cheesecake), lacy underthings, Easter lilies, cashmere, packages, letters, real mail, Pirates of the Caribbean, quotes, miniature things, fireworks, pedicures, water, laughter, friends, bridges, words, cheese, corn silk tea, banana milk, french toast, grilled cheese, clothes i steal from my friends, mushrooms, cherry/grape tomatoes, laughing

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